Forgive him
by Tia-Pixie
Summary: Set straight after the Pevensies are reunited in LWW. Peter wants to forgive Edmund, and he's trying! Susan and Lucy already have. Will he be able to? Of course he will! First ever fic. Please R&R.
1. Beaver's Story

**Disclaimer: I do not own Narnia or the characters therein but I really really wish I owned Ed! Property of C .S. Lewis etc.**

**A/N: I really do apologise for my appalling attempt at writing down Beaver's accent, I had just watched the film and when he talked in my head it was the same accent as in that, so I tried to write it like that.**

"Get some sleep." That was the best he could come up with?! He had half-smiled at Edmund and told him to go to sleep. What was he thinking?! Peter wandered moodily around the camp. He bitterly wished that one of the girls were here to tell him what a dunderhead he was being, but Susan and Lucy had both followed Edmund into the tent to 'take care of him'. He knew that while their sisters were 'taking care of him', Ed was unlikely to get any sleep for a long while yet. Peter wanted to have gone with them, to stay near his brother in case he wandered off again and yet somehow he couldn't bring himself to even look at Edmund, let alone be with him. It was funny but when Peter had first seen him again, the only thing he could think about doing was hugging Edmund senseless. That, or throttling him.

He continued past the blacksmiths, nodding and smiling politely at their warm greetings whilst mentally berating himself for officially being the worst brother in the whole of Narnia, never mind England. Edmund needed him! He should have been there with him and the girls, not speaking to Ed with cold indifference and walking away! He looked out over the dusk-lit world below him, then picked up a stone from where it lay at his feet and threw it away with a frustrated growl.

"Ha! What 'ad that poor stone done to you, eh?" Peter whirled around, coming face to face with Mr Beaver, who was smiling amusedly at him. Peter grinned slightly and had the good grace to blush and look away, then he sighed sadly.

"Nothing really. And that's half the problem. If it were the stone that had done me wrong, I could throw it away! But what do I do when it's my brother?" Beaver raised his eyebrows, Peter gave a quiet laugh then said softly "He's a bit big, to throw away you know."

Beaver waddled over to a nearby boulder and patted the space next to him gently, motioning Peter over to sit with him. They watched the horizon quietly for a minute, then Beaver turned to him:

"They're tricky things, brothers. I 'ad a brother once, the Witch saw to 'im when I were only just married." He was quiet for a moment, then he said pausingly "Broke my 'eart that did. The Mrs swears I ain't never been the same since. 'Course it served 'im right, he weren't the best of brothers. Nor were 'e the best of beavers, went over to Her see? Aw, but 'e had a crackin' sense of mischief did that one! We'd only just started talkin' again, 'e was trying to get away from Her, seen the sort of things she did you see, terrified him the poor little blighter! Then he died see, and that were that." Peter was at a loss for what to say. So he said the only thing he could say,

"I'm sorry."

"Ah, s'alright" Beaver sniffled, and Peter pretended not to notice. He paused then ventured slowly,

"What do you think I should do?...About Edmund, I mean."

"You do wha'ever feels right, son. There ain't no magic spell of ours or Her's that can fix things like this, mores the pity. Nah, you do what feels right to you and your brother; you can't go wrong with tha'."

"But I've already tried doing what I thought felt right! And look where that got us!" Peter protested, hating how childish he sounded.

"You ought to be careful, son, 'cause that sounded awfully like you was givin' up." Beaver said sternly. "Nobody ever said things was gonna be easy – I certainly didn't. But you've gotta try!"

Peter gave a sudden, bitter laugh. "Yes, 'For Narnia!'"

"No!" Peter jumped at Beaver's sharp tone. "No! That's not it! You've gotta try not for any of us, just for you! And your fam'ly!" He turned to Peter and Peter was surprised to see tears glistening in the creature's eyes. Beaver continued softer than before, "You gotta try 'cause he's your brother." Taking one of Peter's hands in both of his front paws, he whispered urgently and haltingly: "I 'ad a younger brother once, and I let 'im slip away from me! 'Cause I weren't watchin' him when I ought to 'ave been! Yours got away from 'er, Peter. Mine didn't. Don't let him slip through your paws – er, fingers I mean – ever again! D'you 'ear me?" One or two of the tears slipped out of Beaver's eyes, leaving shining tracks down his dark fur. He looked earnestly at Peter, who looked away silently.

"I don't know what to do with him." Peter admitted quietly, tears now filling his own eyes. He dashed them away furiously, then turned back to Beaver and cried angrily "I mean...what am I supposed to say to him? 'Oh Ed, you ran away from us! And you meant to sell us to a murderous witch for sweets! But Ed, it's okay because now it's all gone wrong for you and you're back, we forgive you! I forgive you!' I can't do that! I can't!" Finishing on a slightly hysterical note, he ran one hand over his face before continuing so quietly that even Beaver had to lean closer just to hear him, "I was so scared. And when I thought that he might be..." He closed his eyes and broke off, unable to voice the thoughts that had been plaguing him ever since Edmund had left them. "I can't forgive him for this. I can't forgive him to what he put us through, Susan and Lucy would have been heartbroken if anything had happened to him! And I can't, I won't forgive him for doing this to them!"

"Yes, you will Peter." Both Peter and Mr Beaver jumped and turned to face the person who had spoken so softly and sadly to Peter. "You will forgive him Peter. And I think you already have, I think you forgave him before he even did it." Susan smiled gently at her brother's confused look, "You'd forgive Edmund anything, wouldn't you?" She walked slowly over to them and cupped his face in one hand, he shook his head jerkily, causing tears to escape his eyes and roll down his cheeks.

"No. I won't do it Su. You can't force me to forgive him!" She wiped them away and glanced at Beaver and he bowed slightly, taking his leave of them. They both watched him go, and then sat back down on the rock, Susan taking up the place that Beaver had just vacated.

"Peter," She began quietly, "Peter, you said that we were forgiving him because..."

"Because everything's gone wrong and now we have to fix it, yes. And I don't understand how you can forgive him so easily!" Peter interrupted quickly. Susan raised her eyes to look into his, she could practically hear his inner thoughts begging her to help him let go of his hurt, to give him a reason to help understand why Edmund had done it to them, to Peter. She sighed loudly; she had just promised Edmund that she wouldn't tell. On the other hand, both of her brothers desperately needed to be reconciled to each other and she could think of no other way to do it. She sighed even louder and gazing into Peter's pained blue eyes, she explained quietly:

"I can forgive this and easily for two reasons Peter; first of all, he is our baby brother Peter!" She shuddered and closed her eyes momentarily then turned back to him and whispered miserably " And secondly, you haven't seen how terribly wrong things have gone for him."


	2. Give Me A Reason?

**Disclaimer: Story is mine, characters and world is property of C.. **

**A/N: Um, this chapter didn't go as I expected, there is way too much of Susan and not enough of my beloved Edmund in this chapter (despite the fact that he wasn't in the previous one either). But, that said and despite the tremendous amount of swallowing that seems to go on in this chapter (that's not how it sounds) I am actually quite pleased. And hopefully when I get my mountain of A level stuff done, and get around to writing chapter 3 (if anyone wants it), I will finally get to write Edmund yay! Oh yeah, and sorry if this is OOC.**

"And secondly, you haven't seen how terribly wrong things have gone for him."

Peter swallowed hard then, setting his face into a look of complete indifference turned to his sister. "What do you mean?" He asked, his voice quavering slightly. Susan blinked rapidly and turned away from him, trying to hide the tears that she couldn't stop from falling. "Su? Susan, what do you mean?"

"Peter, I..." She swallowed a sob and turned back to him. His eyes widened at the sight of her, the fear and helplessness but also the anger that was burning in his eyes took his breath away. Taking a deep, shuddering breath she said, "Peter, I promised him! I told him I wouldn't tell! He doesn't want you to know, he..." She broke off again, still struggling with her emotions. She gazed unseeingly out to sea for a long while, and then quite suddenly began speaking again. Quietly, as if speaking to herself rather than Peter. "He was so frightened. And when I reached out to him...he flinched. Oh, Peter he was scared! Of me, of...of Lucy!"

Peter thought back to when they had first seen Edmund again, how when Lucy had lunged herself at him, thrown her arms around him, he had jumped backwards. Of course, he had then wrapped his arms around her too but there was still that hesitation, as if he hadn't been sure what to do. Peter had put it down to the fact that it was so long since Edmund had allowed himself to be hugged and it had felt strange to him but perhaps, perhaps it was something more? That fragile, timid look that his brother had cast at the girls, he thought it was because he was ashamed or because he expected them to reprimand him but even after they had welcomed him back, hugged him, he had still worn that same look. He closed his eyes, willing his sister to disprove what he was about to ask.

"Su?...Did she, did she hurt him?" Susan gave a loud sob, nodding her head without looking at him. He swallowed, then trying to keep his voice light, unconcerned: "Badly?"

"Yes." Her voice broke and she leant over, burying her face in her hands. Peter gritted his teeth, clenching and unclenching his jaw, trying to keep his own voice under control. Then asked in a cold and detached tone,

"What did She do to him?"

She shook her head frantically, tears leaking out from between her pale fingers. Peter reached over and slowly removed her wet hands from her face, forcing her to look at him.

"Susan. What. Did. She. Do?" Susan let out a few gasping sobs, then shook her head. Peter, in an uncanny impression of their father, barked once "Susan!"

She threw her head up, sending tears flying everywhere and cried in an anguished voice "Peter, I can't! I promised him!" Peter studied her face for a moment, and nodded once as if deciding something in his head.

"Right." Jumping up, he began striding back towards the camp and Edmund.

"Peter!" Susan shouted after him, "Peter, wait!" She flew to her feet and followed him, catching up with him just as they reached the outer-most tents. "Peter, please listen to me. I'll tell you about Ed, but please, you can't just barge in there and demand to know what's happened. You'll frighten him to death!"

"Su, it's too late. I want to know what's going on and if you can't or rather, won't tell me, I'll go and see him instead." He shook off the restraining hand that was clinging to his forearm and continued through the crowded camp.

_________________________________________________

The assembled Narnians began to mutter at seeing their future high king storming through their encampment with his younger sister, their future queen running to keep up with his long strides. As they drew near the king's tent which Peter and Edmund would now be sharing, they passed Mr and Mrs Beaver, and Lucy who was talking animatedly to them both but stopped short at the look on her older siblings' faces.

"Peter? Susan? What's wrong, what's happened?" She asked, running up to meet them, her eyes wide with fear of she knew not what.

"Nothing Lu. Everything's fine. Peter and I are just going to see Edmund," Susan put her hands around her sister's small shoulders and glanced at the beavers behind her, "Make sure he hasn't wandered off again." She added with a smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"Oh no, he's fine. I was just in there. He's not sleeping though." Lucy replied, putting her hands on her hips and frowning disapprovingly at the entrance to her brothers' tent. Susan smiled sympathetically at Lucy's concerned face and nudged Peter in the side with her elbow, he in turn gave their sister a grim smile and said as lightly as he could

"Well, you know Ed, Lu. He doesn't often do as he's told." Lucy's bright smile and small laugh at his half-hearted joke at Edmund's expense made Peter feel faintly sick. He glanced at Beaver behind Lucy's head and gave him an uneasy smile. "Lucy, would you stay here? Su and I want to speak to Ed alone if that's alright."

"Oh. But Peter, oughtn't we all to go and see him together? He must have missed us all terribly, just like we did him." The fact that Lucy was able to say that, knowing full well what their brother had almost done to them and to Narnia finally broke Peter.

"He didn't miss us at all Lucy! If he had done, then he wouldn't have run off in the first place! Why can't you see that? How can you even think that he cares about any of us after what he's done? How can you be so stupid?" Peter finished, breathing hard and suddenly very aware of how loud he had been shouting and how public his tirade had been. He glanced around, taking in the stunned faces of the creatures around him, Mr and Mrs Beaver's disapproving stares and Lucy's rapidly crumpling face as she turned from him and flung herself at Susan who pulled her close while glaring furiously at him. He thought suddenly, that he would gladly face hundreds or thousands of the Witch's army than his wrath of his sister right then.

Suddenly, Susan's expression went from narrow-eyed fury then slackened to a look of wide-eyed, pale-faced horror and shock at something behind Peter's left shoulder. Peter closed his eyes and turned slowly around with a feeling of cold, wintry dread.

"Edmund."


	3. Listen To The Lullaby

**Disclaimer: Not mine. None of it except this story, none of the characters are mine they all belong to C.S. Lewis.**

**A/N: Yay! Finally I get to write Edmund! Um, there are bits in here which were supposed to break up the mild angst and hopefully be a little funny but I don't know if that comes through? And I'm sorry if my bias towards Ed shows but it is a very strong bias, I am actually starting to hate Peter because of how I have been writing him and even though I wrote it, Peter's mood swings are mind-boggling to me too :-s Um, this one's possibly a bit more angsty than the others but I'm not sure why. Please feel free to leave criticisms or whatever feedback you feel like giving but you don't have to. Also, a biscuit would be nice! :)**

"Edmund."

The silence that followed Edmund's emergence from the tent was deafening to Peter. Even from the short distance he was away from his brother, he could see the confused mix of emotions in the dark eyes; he saw the shocked hurt, the confused anger and even he suspected, fear. Fear of what? Him? He told himself the ridiculousness of the situation wherein he was concerned over Edmund, who had betrayed him and whom just a moment ago he was raging about, ready to tear him apart. It was Edmund who finally broke the eye contact, he didn't shout or storm as he would have done only a day or two earlier, but turned slowly and trudged resignedly back into the tent. Peter watched him go until the heavy canvas doors fell across the entrance again, obscuring Edmund from view. Then he dragged his eyes away and turned to Susan whose earlier anger paled in comparison to the furious exasperation on her face now. Peter was forcibly reminded of a time which seemed so long ago now, back in the professor's house in England when he and Edmund had had what was actually one of their more docile fights. He could almost hear Susan's angry"Well, that was nicely handled.".

"Well, tha..."

"Oh, be quiet Su." Peter interrupted before she could finish, the Susan in his head finishing the line for her. There was a tense silence that followed, Lucy's sniffling the only noise. Peter staring determinedly at the grass at his feet and Susan opening and closing her mouth furiously for a few moments.

At length, Peter glanced up and ventured pathetically: "Su? I'm sorry I said that. And...and all that stuff about Edmund."

She suddenly lifted her gaze to his, and pushed roughly past Peter, snarling angrily over her shoulder: "So am I!"

_________________________________________

Edmund stood quickly as he heard rapid, angry footsteps coming towards the tent. Straightening his back as best he could, he stood ready to listen to whatever Peter chose to throw at him next. He was therefore surprised, when the feet stopped just outside the tent and he heard Susan let out a long, shuddering sigh before lifting the flaps and entering into the dark tent.

"Hello Edmund." She said, offering him a small somewhat shaky smile.

" 'Lo Su." He suddenly found himself unable to hold her gaze and dropped his face to stare at his feet. She walked past him slowly and gently lowered herself to sit on one of the hammocks that had been set up in the canvas room. She reached out gently and tugged one of his hands slightly, he followed her lead and sat nervously next to her, still clutching her right hand in his left. They sat in awkward silence, Susan staring blankly into space and Edmund watching their interlaced fingers, seemingly fascinated. Edmund finally broke the silence, quietly he said "He'll never forgive me, will he?" It was more of a statement than a question.

"..." Susan did not answer. In truth she had no idea how to answer him, she wasn't even sure what she thought the answer was. Edmund finally gave up waiting and nervously raised his eyes from their hands to her face. Her stricken, frightened expression did nothing to inspire his confidence and he quickly dropped his gaze again.

__________________________________________________

Shadows passed by the tent, muttering about their new kings and queens as they went by. It seemed news or rather gossip, traveled fast in Narnia. Several times, either Susan or Edmund would turn towards the entrance and see a tall, human silhouette there, it's hand poised as if to push through the canvas flaps. But then, it would lose it's nerve or simply decide against entering and turn and walk away. Each time this happened, Susan would feel her brother's hand begin to tremble ever so slightly and would grip it just that little bit tighter. Once, Edmund raised his right thumb to his mouth and began to bite anxiously on the nail. Susan, without taking her gaze off the far corner of the tent, reached across both their bodies with her left hand and pulled it away again saying vaguely "Don't chew your nails Ed.".

Edmund found himself smiling fondly, "Why? Because my fingers will drop off if I do?" His sister's mouth quirked up at the edges a little and his smile widened a little more, surprised but glad that he finally seemed to be doing something right. He was disappointed when Susan's face turned melancholy once more.

"I miss Mum." She admitted softly.

Edmund felt his heart lurch, what would their mother think of him now? He couldn't bear the thought of her, the last time he had seen her he had turned away from her, he had watched her heart break in her eyes as she sent them away but he hadn't cared. Peter had been right, back in London; he was selfish. And he didn't deserve for Peter or the girls to forgive him, he was a traitor and they almost died because of him. He felt the overwhelming guilt that he had felt in the 'Queen's' castle wash over him; he didn't deserve this, this time with Susan or the forgiveness that both she and Lucy had given him so easily and suddenly he was glad that Peter couldn't forgive him. He was glad but that didn't stop the feelings of sadness or helplessness that was threatening to overwhelm him. His breathing started coming in short hitches and he felt tears cloud his vision, he tried to pull his hand away from Susan's.

"Edmund, look at me." Her hand was still gripping his tightly, and he shook his head jerkily.

"No." The movement had caused a few tears to drip down his face, some of them seeped into the shallow cuts on his lips and face, the salty water stinging the wounds.

"Edmund." Susan reached out and caught his chin in her fingers, gently. The touch reminded him of the Witch's soft caress when he had first met her, how cold her fingers had been, they had felt like death itself and he been too blind to notice. He felt sick. "Ed?" Susan's soft call and warm fingers brought him back to the present and he just had to chance a look at her face.

Seeing Edmund's dark brown eyes glance up at her with such startling fragility and fear made Susan's heart break. She carefully curled one arm around his shoulders and, keeping the other hand lightly on his cheek, pulled him closer until his head rested on her shoulder. He hesitantly turned his head in towards her until his now wet and bloody face was buried in her neck. Susan began to make shushing noises even though he was already silent except for the occasional sniff, stroking his dark hair and occasionally pressing kisses to the top of his head.

______________________________________

Susan's thoughts drifted to Peter, she wondered where he was, what he was doing. She began to replay this afternoon's little show in her mind's eye: she saw Peter trying to force himself into forgiving Edmund, herself trying to force Peter into forgiving Edmund, and she saw Lucy assuming Peter already had forgiven Edmund. Given what Edmund had done, Peter's inability to forgive him was understandable as was his wishing he could forgive him. She wished ruefully that she had just told Peter from the beginning what had happened to Edmund, if nothing else, it would have poured water on Peter's fire for a while. Instead, she had refused to tell him, and if anything had been bound to pour oil on Peter's fire it was telling him that something had happened to their little brother but refusing to tell him what, Peter tended to have an over-active imagination when it came to things like that.

She realised belatedly, that Edmund's quiet but frantic sobbing had at some point changed to shuddering breaths and loud sniffing. She glanced down at him to find him chewing absent-mindedly on his thumbnail again, she couldn't help smiling; it was the one way you could always tell if Edmund had a) was scared because he had done something naughty, b) was scared because he was about to do something naughty, or c) was just generally scared. She opened her mouth to speak but Edmund beat her to it, speaking hesitantly from his exhausted daze and his voice rough from crying.

"It...must be hard for him. And I do understand, at least, I think I do." He frowned slightly, dark eyebrows knitting together. Susan wasn't sure who he was talking about but was sure she could guess. "I mean, what...what I did; it wasn't exactly a small thing, was it?"

"No, it wasn't." She answered quietly, causing a few last tears to trickle down Edmund's face.

"And, I understand if he can't forgive me - if you can't forgive me." He paused, and craned his neck around so that he could just about see her face and said quietly but less dazedly "I do understand it, Susan. And I do understand him, what must be going on in his mind."

Susan was pleased that Edmund understood their brother, because she had just tried putting herself in Peter's shoes, tried to imagine how torn he was between his love for their brother and his hurt and anger at him for what he had done. She felt as though her mind was about to explode just thinking about it, as a matter of fact, she felt quite proud of Peter for being so restrained in his ranting. Her thoughts were interrupted by a loud yawn from Edmund, again she looked down at him. His eyes were glazed over with exhaustion and he was already falling asleep; so she gently extracted herself from around him and lifted his legs up onto the bed. He murmured something in his half-dream state but she did not catch it, snagging a thin blanket from Peter's bed (there was no need for the thick woolly ones any more) she spread it over Edmund's quickly fading form. He yawned widely again, the stretch causing the cuts around his lips and mouth to split and bleed weakly but he did not seem to notice. She took hold of one of his hands again and knelt by the bed watching him, he closed his eyes properly now and was soon breathing deeply. Once Edmund was asleep (or well on his way), Susan stood slowly and resolved to go and find Peter and 'talk'. Taking one last look at her brother's still form, she delicately slid her hand out of his and turned towards the door but just as she reached it she heard a small whimpering cry saying:

"Susan? Will you stay?" Her breath caught in her throat, and she felt tears actually sting her eyes. She had not heard her brother sound so young or frightened since he was about five years old, stumbling into her room at one o'clock in the morning, terrified of the things that went bump in the night. Of course then it had been "Susan? Can I stay?". But the effect it had on her was the same. She turned around to see Edmund's pale face and dark eyes peering anxiously at her over his shoulder. She smiled, Peter could wait she decided and drifted slowly back to the bed. She felt delighted if somewhat guiltily when Edmund reached out his hand to grab hers as soon as she was nearly within arm's reach again.

"Close your eyes Ed." Susan ordered softly, and after staring a moment longer he did. She lifted her free hand and started stroking his hair again, when he showed no sign of drifting off this time (he rarely did so during the times in her room in England when they were little either), she began singing a song quietly under her breath. It was one that their mother had danced with their father to on the night before he left London, one they both categorically swore was written about them. Their mother had played that same song every night for a fortnight after their father had left, crying into the dishes in the kitchen and Edmund, Susan and Peter all used to sneak down onto the stairs and listen until it had finished. Susan had forgotten some of the words but Edmund didn't seem to mind, he was already fast asleep before she finished the first verse.

___________________________________________________

He approached the tent cautiously, this was about the fifteenth time this evening that he had almost entered the tent but found that he had no idea what to say to either of it's two occupants and ended up walking away. Well, not this time, he was going into that tent. He was. As he reached the tent however, he heard a soft, lilting voice coming from within

"_I may be right, I may be wrong. _

_But I'm perfectly willing to swear _

_there were angels dancing...da da da da...and a nightingale sang in Berkeley Square..."_

He sighed quietly and lowered himself to the grassy ground. Leaning back against a nearby boulder, Peter decided that having it out with Edmund could wait. For now, he was content to listen to a lullaby.

**A/N: So there's chapter 3. Hopefully not too OOC. Oh yeah and for anyone who is interested, the song in it is 'A Nightingale Sang In Berkeley Square' it came out in 1940 but I'm not sure who wrote it, it's a beautiful song though so check it out if you like. xx**


	4. Toast

**Disclaimer: None of it's mine except this particular story. Truly wish Edmund was mine but :(**

**A/N: Sorry, it's been longer than I thought. Unfortunately, real life had to take priority for a week because I had exams but they're all over now and I can get back to what's really important :D Oh yes, the last bit of this chapter is taken practically word for word from the movie script, this is not supposed to be passing it off as my own work but it seemed like a natural finish to the chapter rather than me leaving them mid-conversation. **

When Edmund awoke in the bright, early morning, it was to hushed, angry voices just outside of the tent. He had his back to the doors so he carefully edged himself upwards until he could turn and see the entrance, painfully dragging his back and shoulders against the rough hammock. The morning sunlight shining through the gap in the canvas momentarily blinded him and made the figures in the doorway appear as featureless shadows. His reason, not to mention his newly reinstated conscience, told him to lay back down and go back to sleep but his curiosity was telling him to keep listening. He recognised the voices of his elder brother and sister, and finally after trying in vain to decipher what was being said, Edmund cautiously swung his legs around and sat up straight. He began edging towards the front of the tent, being careful to stay in the shadows so as to avoid being seen - old habits died hard. He crept forwards until he was stood barely six feet away from his siblings and then lowered himself to the ground, watching and listening intently.

________________________

"Susan, what am I supposed to do? If I can't forgive him and you won't let me near him to try then what am I supposed to do?!"

"Peter, for the last time, keep your voice down! Ed's sleeping in there and I want him to sleep as long as possible." Susan tried yet again to placate her brother whilst fighting the desire to raise her own voice to his level. This had been going on for some time now and she was surprised (and worried) by the fact that their brother had not been roused by their (or rather Peter's) shouting. Edmund had always been a heavy sleeper, unlike her and Peter who could be awoken by the slightest noise but even for Edmund, it was an impressive albeit currently disturbing feat to sleep through Peter's ranting.

"Su, he'll have to come out and face me eventually!" Peter continued in an admittedly quieter but no less angry voice. He sighed and glared off at nothing as she interrupted him.

"_'Face you?' _Exactly what are you planning on doing Peter? That he has to '_face you_' for it? You talk about him facing you, and you rant at the top of your voice and look just about ready to hit something," He opened his mouth to interrupt but she gave him a look and continued on. "Yes, Peter to hit something, _or someone!_ And you wonder why I don't want you going in there to see him?" She finished in a furious whisper, belatedly realising that she had in fact risen to volumes which surpassed his during her tirade. She glanced quickly inside of the tent into the darkness to check she had not woken their brother herself but he was thankfully still asleep, lying on his side with his back to them. "Peter," She continued in a hushed voice, "Peter, if I thought that either of you could handle seeing each other at the moment then I would let you speak to him - of course I would! But, you're too angry and he's obviously exhausted so it will just have to wait."

Peter clenched his jaw and glared at her before dropping his eyes to the ground and muttering angrily, "That isn't what you were saying when you were listening in on my _private_ conversations though is it?" He raised his eyes to her again and continued vehemently, "It was you who wanted me to speak to him Su, you wanted me to see him. Besides, he can't hide in there forever."

She bit her lip in realisation, yes she had wanted him to speak to Edmund but not like this, not when he was so furious she wouldn't be surprised if he punched him. "I know," she admitted softly, "but Peter, he's exhausted and, and he's wounded and Peter, us being angry with him all the time was half the problem in the first place." She raised her eyes to his and confessed quietly, "I don't want to lose him again Peter." At this, Peter felt his own eyes soften and all of his previous anger fade, he was still angry but it could wait. Susan's eyes were filling as she stared pleadingly up at him and he found himself unable to hold her gaze any longer.

He glanced briefly into the darkness of the tent; he hadn't slept in there last night. He'd left Susan and Edmund to it, in the end and gone to sleep in the girls' tent with Lucy. She had been understandably wary of him at first, but he had apologised and she had forgiven him, throwing her arms around him and snuggling into him in a way that was entirely his baby sister. He had smiled and asked her about her afternoon and she had babbled on about dryads and beavers and beautiful new dresses whilst leading him over to her bed and he had almost forgotten all about their brother. Almost. That was until she turned her head up to look at him from where she was now pillowed on top of him, her head resting over his heart and asked: "Peter? Do you really think he didn't miss us?"

"I don't know Lu." And he didn't. It had occurred to him in that moment, lying on a make-shift bed with his youngest sister draped over the top of him that maybe the reason he was so angry was that he could barely recognise their brother any more. Yes, Susan had been right that he would forgive their brother anything. But that _wasn't_ hisbrother, it wasn't the brother he had shared a room and sometimes even a bed with for most of his life. It wasn't the brother that he had once tried to teach to play Chess, who had picked it up in less than half an hour and not wanted to tell him what Susan had told him which was that Edmund already knew how to play thank you very much because she had taught him over a year ago. Edmund had changed he realised; and he hadn't noticed. So now he was left with someone who was his brother but wasn't. Someone who was a complete stranger but in his brother's body. And the fact was, that it was easier to hate a stranger for betraying them like this than it was to try to understand and forgive their brother for doing it. And it hurt a lot less that way too.

"Peter?"

He was startled out of his musings by Susan's soft voice. She was looking at him, her brows wrinkled in concern. He cleared his throat. "Yes?"

"Are you all right?"

"I'm fine Su." He blinked, and was shocked to feel two small droplets trace their way down his face. He hadn't realised he was crying.

Susan watched him for a moment longer before murmuring "Well, I'm glad you've calmed down a little" She sighed and glanced down then said quietly "I suppose we'd better wake him up. He must be starving and Lucy will be waiting."

"Mmm. Suppose so." Peter directed his gaze back into the tent. His look was this time met by two large dark eyes staring up at him from where their owner was sat crouched on the floor. He felt his rage return with a vengeance. Dashing the last remaining tears from his eyes and casting one last furious look at both his brother and sister, he turned on his heel and stormed away leaving Susan utterly bewildered. She called after him. "I'll see you at breakfast!" Was the distant response snarled over his shoulder. Well. She knew dismissal when she heard it.

Turning into the tent she was surprised to find Edmund already up and waiting for her, chewing nervously on his thumbnail again. That and one look at his face told her all she needed to know. She couldn't help but feel a little hurt that Edmund didn't trust her enough to let her talk to Peter about him without listening in on it all.

Taking a deep breath, she strode past Edmund and over to the bed that they had ended up sharing the night before. Saying as she passed him, "Don't chew your nails Ed.", it was more habit than annoyance that made her say it. Out of the corner of her eye she could see him watching her strip the bed down and replace the blankets, turning them down as she did so. She also noticed that his thumb was still firmly in place in his mouth. He hadn't always chewed his nails. It had started when he was about three, she supposed. They had been visiting their grandmother and their mother's youngest brother in Brent Cross, Edmund had had a 'cuddle' then. It was an old cot blanket belonging to Peter and then to her and finally to Ed, it had been so worn out by Edmund's time that their mother thrown it in the bin but it had been mysteriously rescued and reappeared in Edmund's cot the same day and he had had carried it with him everywhere after that. There was a fabric hook on one corner for hanging it up, and Peter had taught Ed to put his chubby little thumb through the hook so that he didn't drop it, Ed used to suck his thumb then.

She smiled fondly at the memory, watching Edmund half-heartedly tug the corners of the blanket down so that it covered the corners of the bed, thumb still in place and her smile grew. So. Off they had gone to see their Grandmother, each of them in their best clothes, hair painfully neat and pink-skinned from all the scrubbing their mother had inflicted on them that morning. Grandma had been pleased to see them, commenting on how they'd all grown and such like. She, Peter and Edmund had been happily playing on the rug in front of the fire and of course Edmund had his blanket in hand when their Uncle Christopher (he was only eighteen, the baby of the family if she remembered correctly) had walked in and immediately said: "Bit old for a blanket isn't he?" Nodding at Edmund. She and Peter had scowled up at him and their parents had both politely replied that no, they didn't think he was too old just yet. And then later, after dinner while the adults had been washing up and they were back in the front room, Edmund contentedly sucking on the corner of his blanket and Uncle Frank came in again. "He is too old for a blanket." She remembered him saying, as if to himself. And he had sauntered up to Ed, snatched the blanket out of his hands and before she or Peter could even shout he had thrown it into the fire. It caught like dry wood and went up in a cloud of foul smelling smoke. She didn't remember an awful lot after that; she supposed they had been sent out while their grandmother and mother 'talked' to their Uncle, she couldn't remember ever having thought someone deserved a smack more than her Uncle that day. She remembered sitting on the stairs with their father, trying to calm down a hysterical Edmund and Lucy. Peter was crying too though she couldn't recall why, she did recall him marching up to their uncle and kicking him in the shin though. She sighed, Peter was Edmund's and her hero that day. Edmund had sucked his thumb after that and then after starting school he had progressed to chewing his nails and had done ever since. It was endearing really, though of course she outwardly disapproved it was one of the only traits of Edmund that had not changed as he had over the past couple of years. And last night she had glimpsed the person he used to be before boarding school and before the war, it was that and the constant nail-biting that was leading her to believe that their brother was not so far lost as she and Peter had thought.

He was still watching her, she realised. Standing awkwardly with one hand in his pocket and the other of course still at his mouth, he kept glancing at the open doorway of the tent and then back at her. She released a startled "Oh!" realising belatedly that he was waiting for her to go for breakfast with him. Standing quickly, she smiled and held out a hand to him which he took in his slightly smaller, slightly sweaty one.

He was trembling she realised as they both ducked out of the tent and he kept casting nervous glances around the camp. As they passed, many of the animals gave stiff, short bows which were evidently more for show than anything else and she was reminded of something their mother used to say about both of her brothers: _"Their eyes say it all." _And these animals' eyes certainly did, she felt that they could not have a more hostile look in their eyes at that moment if they had been looking at the White Witch herself. A large cat, a Tom, hissed violently at Edmund as they passed and she frowned angrily but did not stop, _stopping would give them the chance to say something to him_ she thought. The further they got into the main camp, the more she could feel Edmund pressing himself up against her and tightening his grip on her hand, she felt sorry for him. She wished she could take him back to the tent and take breakfast in there and if Peter or Lucy wanted to see either of them then they could jolly well visit them there! But that wouldn't do of course; because if she did that then it would seem as though she were ashamed of Edmund which she could honestly say for the first time in a long time, she wasn't. She couldn't explain why though, maybe it was because for the first time in a long time, he actually felt like her brother again.

Even so, she couldn't remember ever having been so pleased to see Peter scowling. It wasn't at her and it wasn't at Edmund and it felt wonderful, because it meant that whether Peter had forgiven him or not, he wasn't going to stand for anyone to bully or judge Edmund. What gave them the right to anyway? It was all very well for them not to go over to Her side, they knew exactly the kind of things She did but her brother didn't know! And by the time he did know, it was too late and besides some of them had gone over to Her anyway so why should they be able to despise Edmund for it? It was just hip - Hypocritical. That was what it was, hypocritical and she smiled at Lucy and Peter, pleased with herself for remembering the word. Peter would probably have made fun of her for thinking about semantics and long words at a time like this but he had his distractions and she had hers. Besides, she liked to widen her vocabulary.

As they drew near their siblings and Peter's scowl was eventually fixed on Edmund however, she began to concentrate more on the matter at hand. Namely: keeping her brothers near enough to each other that they could talk to each other if they wished to but not so near that Peter could get his hands on Ed therefore hopefully avoiding an all out scrap; because quite apart from the upset it would cause all four of them, it wouldn't do to as their mother would put it: _"To wash their dirty laundry in public." _Everyone here already openly distrusted Edmund, the last thing they needed was to show that Peter didn't trust or even like him either. So, determinedly leading Edmund up to their brother and sister she smiled at Lucy and took a seat on the ground next to where Peter was stood. It did not go unnoticed to either of her brothers that in doing so she had left the only other open seat between her and Lucy, meaning that Edmund was sat firmly in between his sisters and away from Peter. Despite this, Peter managed to somehow get in the way of his brother, their shoulders banging painfully against each other although neither of them said anything about it.

Edmund lowered himself to the ground, clumsily overbalancing at the last minute and falling onto his back. Lucy and Susan both reached out their hands to pull him back up and out of the corner of her eye Susan thought she might even have seen Peter make a move as if to catch him as he fell. Edmund hissed in pain and clenched his eyes shut as he hit the ground, opening them slowly and glancing fearfully at Susan who smiled sympathetically and helped to pull him into a sitting position. Breakfast passed slowly but peacefully for the Pevensies. It seemed that watching Edmund pick at his food warily before just sitting back and watching his siblings eat had even concerned Peter. Lucy was blissfully oblivious to this however and chatted cheerily about the many animals she had already conversed with that morning, telling them how kind they all were etc. Susan nodded and smiled at the appropriate places whilst not really listening while their brothers seem to phase her out altogether.

_____________________________________________

"Eat something, Ed." Peter was surprised to hear the soft instruction leave his mouth, it seemed to have bypassed his brain, he certainly hadn't thought about saying it. He shifted uneasily as both his brother and eldest sister turned their faces to stare at him, their eyes shining in hope. He almost laughed when Edmund, typically blunt said:

"What?"

"You should eat something." At the still startled look he received he added quickly, "Susan's worried about you not having eaten." He felt a slight pang of guilt as their faces fell, but also a little proud as his brother mechanically reached out and cautiously took a piece of toast off the stack placed between them all. By this time, even Lucy was watching although both Peter and Susan felt sure she wasn't really aware of why they were all watching him so intently. Edmund reluctantly raised the bread to his mouth and took the smallest of small bites before glancing around at them all as if to make sure that they had all seen. After that however, hunger seemed to kick in and he demolished the entire stack in a matter of minutes eliciting an amused quip from Lucy that:

"Narnia isn't going to run out of toast Ed."

Finally finding the opportunity to raise the subject he had been meaning to, Peter commented quietly: "I'm sure they'll pack some up for the journey."

"We're leaving?" Susan voiced what was on the tip of their younger brother and sister's tongues.

"You are." Seeing them all open their mouths to protest, Peter continued on quickly, "I promised I'd keep you three safe but there's no reason I can't stay here and help."

"But they need us! All four of us!" Cried Lucy tearfully.

"Lucy, it's too dangerous! You almost drowned, Edmund was almost killed!!" Both Susan and Edmund found themselves feeling a sort of perverse pleasure at hearing the genuine fear in their brother's voice when saying the last part of his speech. Looking down thoughtfully, Edmund was shocked to hear his next statement, it seemed to him to be almost the complete opposite of what he truly wanted to say.

"Which is why _have_ to stay." As he explained how he had helped the White Witch, he felt with sickening realisation that he actually agreed with what he was saying. He wanted to stay here. He wanted to make things better for the people of Narnia even if it killed him. As he finished his short speech he raised his gaze to look first at Lucy, who was holding his hand tightly in hers, then at Susan who seemed to be figuring something out in her head then sighing in resignation and finally, he daringly raised his eyes to Peter who was staring at him in horror and as if he'd never seen him before. Edmund felt a flicker of fear at this, then Peter nodded his head jerkily and glanced at him again. This time, though Edmund barely dared to hope, Peter's eyes seemed to be filled with something other than horror. What was that? It had been so long that Edmund barely recognised the look in his brother's eyes, but then suddenly it seemed to click as if someone had turned a switch in his head. It was Pride. And it was because of him. They held each other's gaze for a long while and suddenly Peter broke it. Susan stood abruptly and Peter asked worriedly:

"Where are you going?"

Giving a wicked grin she replied "To get in some practice." She gave Edmund one last look and, satisfied that they were not going to kill each other in her absence she turned and strode away with Lucy trailing at her heels.

Left alone together, the two boys turned once more to look at one another. There was an uneasy silence. "So..." Peter began awkwardly and taking a deep breath before he continued. "Practice?" He suggested.


	5. In The King's Tent

**Disclaimer: Not mine. Just the story is mine. Everything else belongs to C. S. Lewis. (Unfortunately so does Ed.) **

**A/N: Whoops forgot to add the disclaimer etc. to this well it is now rectified. :) Also, I want to apologise in advance to Laily7420 who seemed to like the nasty Peter that I had been writing. Anyway, sorry because in this chapter they do make up (hooray!) because I just couldn't stand writing Peter being mean to Ed any longer lol. (Pathetic I know, but I adore him.)**

**Also, sorry I've been so long in updating. It was the combined result of having had no internet connection for nearly a fortnight and suffering from sever writer's block.**

She couldn't have him. He wouldn't let her. Peter's heart hammered in his chest so hard that it was making his whole body burn from the exertion. He stood in front of his siblings, his sword at his side just begging to be drawn. He could feel Lucy's hand in his, and out of the corner of his eye he could see Edmund's hand slowly edging towards Susan's. He was glad, Edmund shouldn't have to go through this on his own he thought. The Witch cast her gaze over them, eyeing them up to see whether they were a threat he suspected and he saw Susan's hand jerk out and grab hold of Edmund's and tug him closer. Peter's blood boiled at the condescending smirk that the action brought to the Witch's pale lips.

They were talking about him as though he wasn't there. Aslan and the Witch, actually seemed to be bartering for his blood! Edmund's lips were dry and his eyes stung with tears, he felt painfully cold even in the warm air of the new Spring. He wanted to look away, he would not let Her see him cry but he couldn't take his eyes off Her. And she kept looking at Aslan and talking as if he couldn't hear her but every word she spoke was directed at him and he could feel her excitement. Her blood lust. He was frightened, so frightened. He wanted to be at home, waking from a bad dream in the bedroom he shared with Peter. He wanted his mother, his father. He suddenly realised that now, more than ever, more even than when he had sat shivering in the White Witch's dungeons, he wanted to be held. And he wanted to be told that he was safe and believe it. Susan's hand wrapped around his and he squeezed back thankfully. It was better than nothing.

Susan felt her little brother grasp her hand in his own trembling one. The Witch smirked coldly at them; Susan realised that she hated her. Strange really, she had never hated anyone in her life before and now suddenly she hated this woman that she had never even met before today. Even though she was certain that between the two of them, Aslan and Peter would never let Her get her hands on Edmund again, Susan couldn't help but feel frightened. As the Witch once again cast her eyes at Edmund, Susan felt him go stiff beside her and his hand went limp. She turned to him, he was so pale she feared he might faint. Again, she pulled him closer and slightly behind her own body, hoping that if it came to it, she could at least put herself between her brother and the White Witch.

"That boy will die on the stone table." The Witch's cold voice cut through the warm air like a knife.

And suddenly, Susan wasn't the only one standing between them; Peter had drawn his sword and was holding it in front of him, his other arm reaching backwards as though to further shield his siblings. All three of them stared in awe and fear at their older brother, and if he hadn't already earned his knighthood, in their eyes he earned it then. The Witch however was unphased at his blatant challenge and implied threat.

"You think that a simple threat will deny me my right, little king?" Peter visibly deflated at her words. Susan's heart broke for him and she reached out and drew him back into the circle of his siblings, his eyes gazed almost ashamedly into hers until Aslan's deep rumbling voice drew everyone's attention.

"Enough, I shall talk with you alone."

_______________________________________________

"There must be a way out of this." The three younger Pevensies turned their heads to look hopefully at their brother. Peter raised his gaze to meet them. "I mean, _if _there's a way out, Aslan will use it. Won't he?" His brother and elder sister flinched at the hint of desperation in his tone. To their surprise, it was Lucy who answered him.

"Of course." She said it as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. Frowning slightly at them all, she continued. "Peter, of course there must be a way to keep Edmund away from _Her_" Her voice and face darkened as she uttered the word. "And, of course Aslan will use it. What else can he be doing in there with her? Aslan will make everything all right. You'll see." Her older siblings smiled sadly at the certainty in her voice, each secretly, desperately hoping she would be right.

There was a long silence during which Susan and Lucy absent-mindedly made daisy-chains, Edmund simultaneously chewed his nails and picked determinedly at the grass and Peter stood stalwartly off to one side, gazing anxiously at the tent in which Aslan and Jadis were bickering over his brother's blood. Finally, the Witch emerged from the folds of the tent, followed slowly by the lion. She gifted the children with one last furious glare filled with such hatred as they had never seen before, though Peter realised that he had received a look from his brother after Lucy's first visit to Narnia that was chillingly close to it. And he resolved there and then to never ever give any of his siblings reason to look at him like that again.

At Aslan's announcement that the Witch had given up her claim on their brother there was a thunderous roar from the assembled animals which mingled with Susan and Lucy's cries of joy and Peter's victorious shout. Edmund however could not take his eyes off the Witch's form, he felt almost bereft at the knowledge that his life was of so little importance to her that it could simply be swapped for something else at Aslan's will. He was glad, and relieved but he couldn't help but wonder what the Lion had offered in exchange for his life, whatever it was, he knew it could not have been anything of great importance. He wasn't worth it.

The Witch was carried out of the camp by her foul minions, and gradually the assembled crowd dispersed leaving Edmund and his brother and sisters alone. The last of the crowd were barely out of spitting distance when Edmund was gripped in a fierce three-way embrace. Susan's arms wrapped protectively around his neck and Lucy's around his waist, and it was only then that he realised, quite suddenly that he was still trembling. He bowed his head against Susan's neck. Sliding his arms around her waist and crushing Lucy in between them as a sudden dizzying exhaustion came over him.

"ED!" Peter lunged at his siblings just in time to catch his younger brother before he hit the ground. Hard. Edmund felt every inch of his body go weak and his vision turned black.

"Edmund!" Susan and Lucy cried out in shock and worry. Peter slowly knelt and laid their brother gently on the soft grass, turning his head up to look anxiously at Susan.

"What should we do?" He asked quietly, glancing around to make sure that there was nobody around to see their brother so vulnerable.

Susan twisted her hands anxiously before saying decisively, "Take him inside." She too knelt and picked up Edmund's lower half as Peter again lifted his upper body, they turned and carried him awkwardly, jarringly towards the King's Tent. They set to Lucy run on ahead to open the canvas doors for them and pull back the blanket on Edmund's bed so that they could lay him down without much bother.

Peter and Susan carefully placed their brother on his makeshift bed and Lucy pulled the blanket up over him, fussily pushing in the corners and tucking the top of it under his chin. They all stood back and gazed at Edmund for a moment. He looked so small and young, even to Lucy. And so pale. His eyes were dark and one of the cuts on his lip was bleeding again. Susan reached out and wiped the blood away gently, then smoothed back the hair from his forehead. She turned to Lucy, "Lucy, go and fetch Mrs Beaver please. Ask her to bring a bowl of warm water and a cloth." She ordered quietly and Lucy, glad to be able to do something to help obediently ran off to fetch their friend.

Susan and Peter stood regarding the still form on the bed for moment. Peter's voice cut through the quietness.

"He's exhausted." He said sadly. Susan nodded silently next to him. He sighed. "Should we try and wake him? Or leave him to sleep?" He murmured nervously.

"No. Let him sleep." Peter sat down gently on the bed behind them, and Susan gracefully sank down to join him. As soon as she did so, he reached out and took her hand in his. She squeezed it reassuringly.

"I...I wish Mum and Dad were here." Peter admitted haltingly. "I was scared today."

"So was I. But they're not here Peter. And we just have to make the best of it."

"Seeing her today, that close. Seeing her for what she is, do you still want to stay?"

Susan frowned thoughtfully. "What do you mean, _'what she is_'? Peter, she's just a woman with a magic wand. I'm less scared of her now than I was before." _Gosh,_ she thought,_ I almost believe it myself!_

"Are you?" Peter asked, surprised.

"Yes." She told him determinedly.

"Why?"

"Because..." Susan's was grateful that her answer (which would have been a patchwork of lies) was cut short by the sudden entrance of Mrs Beaver who burst through the doors carrying a bowl of water. Lucy trailed behind her carrying a clean cloth and some foul-smelling sprigs of what Peter thought might be lavender. They both smiled grimly at her and she beamed back at them, her usual cheery self.

While many of the Narnian's it seemed could barely stand the sight of Edmund, Mrs Beaver seemed to have developed a soft spot for him which rivalled the one her husband had for Peter. She bustled over to the bed slopping water over Peter's knees as she waddled past him and he and Susan couldn't help but grin a little. She set the bowl down by the bed then began feeling Edmund's forehead and cheeks. She seemed rather dissatisfied with what she found as she tutted and sighed fretfully before ushering Lucy over with the plants.

"Pop them in the water dear." She ordered kindly. Lucy obediently did so and Susan joined them by the bed, taking the wash cloth from Lucy's hands. "Just give it a moment dear. It needs time to infuse." She told Susan as she went to dip the cloth in the water. Presently, the water began to give off an aroma that did indeed vaguely resemble strong lavender but that wasn't quite the same. Peter and Lucy wrinkled their noses at the smell. "Right, now then." She said, nodding at Susan who soaked the cloth in the water and then wrung it out slightly before beginning to mop Edmund's face with it. She and Mrs Beaver then began whispering in tones so quiet that Peter could not make out a word they were saying, it was however evident that it involved himself and their brother in some way as the kept glancing form one to the other and nodding at each other as if deciding something.

Deciding that he should make himself scarce before they could rope him into going near the plant-infused water, Peter held his hand out to Lucy saying brightly: "Come on Lu. You can show me what you learned in practice this morning." Lucy beamed at him and took his hand. Susan turned to him looking quite alarmed.

"Peter? Could...could you stay here for a little while please? I wanted to talk to you." She followed this with a pointed look at him and then a glance at Lucy.

Taking the hint, Peter released his sister and ushered her to the doorway. Saying consolingly, "Never mind Lu, go and get some more practice and you can show me later." Lucy brightened at this and bounced off towards the target ground again. Peter turned back to Susan nonchalantly saying "So. What did you want to talk to me about?"

Susan sighed nervously and looked hopefully at Mrs Beaver who shook her head sadly. "I'd best be getting back to Beaver. Who knows what he's getting up to with me gone!" She laughed nervously, casting a look at the two elder Pevensies before ducking out of the tent and bustling off again.

Left alone, there was an awkward silence between the two of them, broken only by Edmund's slow and steady sleep-breathing. As Peter strolled slowly back to the other bed and sat back down, Edmund released a small whimper in his sleep followed by a noise that was somewhere between a gasp and a sob but did not wake. Susan bent over him, shushing him quietly and pressing a kiss to his temple. He quietened down, the nightmare chased away by his big sister and she lowered herself to sit by the bed next to him before turning her attention back to Peter. He was gazing at her intently, while debating in his mind whether he really wanted to have this conversion with her. Now that it was actually time to have it, he wasn't so sure he did any more.

Susan released a shuddering breath, and gazed tenderly at Edmund's sleeping form, searching for the right words. Finally, after a long while, she concluded that there were no right words. She had to tell Peter some time and it was best she did it now while Edmund was asleep and Peter was calm. And without the lingering threat that the Witch might come and rip him away from them again. "Peter, I have to tell you..."

"She beat him." Peter interrupted bluntly. Susan turned shocked eyes towards her older brother. Before she could form words, Peter said quickly: "I knew it this morning. At breakfast." At Susan's blank look, he continued haltingly "When he...fell. And he hit his back, it hurt him a lot. And it shouldn't have done, so I've been thinking about it all day and well, it's the only thing I can think of. So did she?"

Gathering herself, Susan replied quietly, "Not her. But...yes." Peter set his jaw and forced himself to continue.

"You've seen it?" Susan nodded. "Is it bad?" Another nod. "Worse than school?"

"It's on his back Peter. And it wasn't punishment, Peter it was torture!" She hissed tearfully. Peter sucked a breath.

"What with?"

"How should I know?" She cried angrily. Edmund stirred in his sleep and let out a soft moan of pain. Susan calmed herself and resumed stroking his hair. "I'm sorry Peter. This isn't your fault, it...it isn't anybody's fault. I'm just...I'm so..." She broke off blinking back furious tears.

"Angry." Peter finished for her, nodding slightly. "And...maybe a little guilty for...not protecting him better?" He reached out his hand and squeezed her shoulder, "Me too." He admitted softly, blinking back a few tears of his own. They smiled tearfully at each other then cast their eyes back to Edmund. "It _isn't_ anybody's fault. No one's except Hers." Peter muttered angrily. He watched his sister lovingly stroke Edmund's dark fringe back form his face and smooth one or two stray tears that had escaped his eyes. Then, to his surprise as well as Susan's he murmured softly: "It's not even his." Again, Susan turned shocked but happy eyes to his miserable ones. He looked away angrily clenching his jaw before bursting out quietly "We shouldn't even be here Su. You were right, Mum sent us away so that we wouldn't get caught in a war and now we're in one we don't even understand properly."

"Peter," Susan ventured quietly, "I don't understand the other one."

He smiled sadly and admitted, "Nor do I."

Edmund stirred and awoke slowly, "Su?" He asked dazedly, blinking his dark eyes blearily. Susan smiled tenderly at him.

"Yes?"

"I missed you." Susan bent down and kissed his forehead -something he never would have allowed before Narnia - and he grinned shyly.

"We missed you too." The quiet warmth in his voice startled his brother and sister, and if he was quite honest, it, and the feelings behind it startled him as well. But Peter reached out one hand and placed it on top of Edmund's smaller, paler one. He felt Edmund slowly turn his slightly so that their fingers were linked and smiled softly at their shocked faces.

_________________________________________

"Peter? Peeeteer?" Lucy's breathless shouts reached her older siblings' ears and Peter grudgingly went to meet her at the tent doors. Edmund's disappointed face as Peter released his hand was not lost on either his brother or sister and Peter glanced bemusedly at Susan who smirked and shook her head. "Peter!" Lucy's high pitched shout actually hurt Edmund's ears but he smiled a little at Susan as they both enjoyed Lucy's childish delight at having found their brother. "Peter," She said breathlessly, "Will you come and watch me now please? I've hit the target every time now!" Her eyes travelled over the interior of the tent before coming to rest on her sister and brother. "Edmund!!" She squeaked in joy as she raced over to see him.

"Lucy be careful!" Susan warned as Lucy flung her arms around her older brother and kissed his cheek. Peter winced in sympathy at the masked yet obvious pain on Edmund's face and removed Lucy from him and sat her down on the bed beside him instead. Edmund turned grateful eyes up at his brother and smiled warmly at Lucy.

Suddenly, Edmund's face turned serious. "When's the battle?" He asked quietly. Peter and Susan exchanged looks.

"Tomorrow but Ed..." Peter began.

"Good. There's no point in giving her any more time to gather troops. She's already got plenty more than what I've seen of us." Edmund interrupted Peter looking determinedly at him.

"I agree Ed. But, well, you're not in any state to fight and besides, I'd feel much better knowing that you and the girls were safe here." At his words, Edmund turned a furious stare at Susan who looked sheepishly back.

"I had to tell him Edmund. He had to know."

"You didn't_ have _to tell him anything." He muttered mutinously. "And Peter, if by _'safe' _you mean you don't want me to fight then you have another think coming! I'm not going to sit here and let those people suffer while I sit here with the girls _'safe'._

Peter looked helplessly at Susan who shrugged and made an equally helpless face back. Edmund craned his neck around to see Susan then turned back to Peter.

"I _am_ fighting Peter. You can't stop me." He told them confidently.

Peter nodded resignedly, defeated he replied, "Alright. But you're staying with the archers and the reserves."

Edmund looked as though he might say something but nodded mutely. Susan pulled him close again and smiled sadly at Peter.

"Well then, we'd better all go to bed. You'll need plenty of sleep for tomorrow. Will you leave before morning?" She inquired from Peter.

He nodded resolutely. "Dawn." Was all he said.

"Well, then I suppose you and I had better go to bed as well then Lucy." She said standing and holding her hand out to her sister. They each kissed Edmund goodnight and Peter walked them back to their tent. Susan ushered Lucy inside then turned quickly to Peter. "What do you think Aslan's done? What he's promised Her, I mean?" She asked quickly.

"I don't know. But, he seemed...almost sad about it. Didn't you think so?" Susan nodded.

"Lucy noticed too. I've told her it's nothing to worry about."

"Good." Peter sighed. "Oreius will know if there's anything to worry about. I'll speak to him before I go to bed."

"Fine. But Peter? Don't leave Edmund alone for too long please."

"Worried he'll wander off again?" Peter half-joked.

Susan glared. "No. Peter. I'm worried that he'll be afraid, he wouldn't let me leave last night he was so frightened. I don't want you to leave him on his own for long."

Peter jerked his head once. "Alright. I'll speak to Oreius and go straight back to the tent." Susan nodded and Peter turned to leave.

"And Peter?" He turned back once more and raised his eyebrows. Susan sighed. "Look after him. Protect him if you can?"

"Of course!" Peter said slightly indignantly and turned away again.

"And Peter?" Peter sighed loudly and turned back. Susan blushed under his glare.

"Look after yourself too please."


	6. For Narnia

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters except Nuntius who is in this story for all of about 2 paragraphs so I don't think that really count. All I own is this particular story and I realise I've stolen a lot of dialogue later on straight from the film but I wanted it to match up a bit.**

**A/N: I had my OC convey the message about Aslan to the boys rather than the dryad person mainly because I totally forgot about her until after I'd written Nuntius's big scene :) and I didn't have the heart to delete his part. And also, sorry it's been so long updating my PC broke again but I have the next chapter half written so it shouldn't be to long before I update again. And finally, in regard to reviews, they really really do make my day and I love getting them so even if it's just one word, or even if it's just "Wow. That was crap." I will still be pleased to get it =D So here it is....enjoy (I hope).**

Edmund stood stiffly, holding his arms out from his sides while Peter clumsily put on his armour for him. It was hard-going and painful but he was determined he would fight. Every now and then Peter's eyes would glance up at his from whatever he was doing up and watch him for a moment. Edmund wasn't sure what emotion was displayed in the blue eyes but it made him uncomfortable. Suddenly, Peter began speaking to him quietly and taking a lot longer to do up the leather straps on the armour than Edmund could believe was necessary.

"The girls are gone." Peter told him quietly. Edmund's heart began racing, Susan was gone? And Lucy? He opened his mouth to reply but Peter cut him off. "There was no sign of a fight, besides we would have heard it if there was one. No foot prints either, at least nobody's except theirs. Wherever they are they've gone alone."

"And where _do_ you think they've gone, Peter?" Edmund responded quietly, trying to control the fear in his voice. Peter looked up at him and they could both see the worry in each other's eyes. Peter sighed heavily.

"I don't know." He admitted anxiously. He stood slowly and took Edmund's sword belt from where it had been hung the night before on the end of a bed and turned back to his brother.

"Why do I need a sword, if you're going to make me stay with the archers?" Edmund frowned whilst Peter secured the belt tightly around his brother's small waist. It was a little big really but it would have to do. Peter simply glared pointedly at him and raised one eyebrow in a _'you know why' _sort of way. "I'm not going to run away again." Edmund huffed quietly.

"Yes, well it's not you running _away _that I'm worried about Ed." Peter muttered nervously.

Suddenly, their relative peace was interrupted by the entrance of Nuntius, a small, excitable bird similar to the pigeons they used to see in London. He flapped agitatedly into the tent and landed hard on the grass at their feet. He glanced nervously up at the young princes and cooed apologetically. Peter smiled kindly at him and bid him tell them his message.

"If you please Sir Peter," He small creature said breathlessly. "General Orieus told me to come here at once. And to send you and your brother," Here he paused again and glanced nervously at Edmund. "To the Great Lion's tent." He finished, apparently very pleased with himself for delivering his message correctly and so swiftly.

Edmund however, frowned worriedly from behind Peter's shoulder and asked sharply. "Is there something wrong?" The little bird did not answer, still catching his breath and lying exhausted on the ground, he nodded breathlessly. They did not wait for their messenger to recover himself, but left the tent immediately, heading in the direction of the Lion's tent.

"What do you think's happened?" Edmund asked gasping slightly from the effort to keep up with his brother's long strides.

"I don't know Ed."

_______________________________________________

"It's true. He's gone." Peter told the crowd dejectedly. He hadn't wanted to believe what Orieus had told them but it seemed he had little choice now. Aslan was gone. Orieus had seemed so confident the night before. Telling him there was nothing amiss and that Aslan knew what he was doing and not to question the Great Lion. He had felt like a small child being patted on the head and told not to worry.

There was a resounding gasp from the assembled Narnians which then broke into anxious chatter. Peter met Edmund's eyes and trudged over to where he was stood at Orieus's feet, the General with his hand on Edmund's shoulder. "He's gone. Aslan's gone." He repeated miserably to his brother. Edmund craned around to exchange a look with Orieus who nodded once. Then, taking a deep breath and steeling himself for the explosion he expected to follow his words, he said:

"Then you'll have to lead us." At Peter terrified stare, he continued quickly. "Peter, there's a whole army out there, and it's ready to follow you."

"I can't!" Peter moaned resignedly.

Edmund frowned furiously, not only had he expected his brother to jump at the chance to be a hero (old habits died hard) he had also expected him to understand as Edmund had. Breaking free from the centaur's grip he grabbed hold of Peter's shoulder and said determinedly. "Aslan believed you could!" Then quietly, in barely more than a whisper he added, "And so do I."

Peter stared in amazement at his younger brother. It took everything he had not to hug Edmund there and then. But he didn't. Instead he smiled weakly at him and was awarded with a shy smile back, then he moved his attention to Orieus. "General?" He said with a lot more confidence than he felt.

Orieus immediately stood to attention and inclined his head towards his two young kings and inquired calmly: "What are your orders?"

For Narnia. And for Edmund, for Susan and for Lucy.

_____________________________________

It had all happened so fast. One moment they had been sobbing over Aslan's apparently dead body and the next minute they were riding on his back as he charged through Narnia, heading for the Witch's castle. Their throats and eyes were soar from both theirs tears and their screams and shouts of delight but they barely noticed as they approached the castle. Their hearts beat hard in their chests and although they both knew that the Witch would be long gone on her way to do battle with their brothers, they could not help the fear from setting in. The castle itself was a fearsome structure. Beautiful in a dark, Gothic way Susan supposed but to Lucy it looked like every evil and dark palace from her fairy tales and she felt terrified. She felt that she wanted her brothers, and her parents but at the same time, she felt strangely safe with Aslan. As though nothing would harm them as long as they were with him.

They entered the dark courtyard and both Lucy and Susan were gripped by paralysing fear, surrounding them were the cold, stone forms of hundreds of animals, centaurs, giants and fauns. Susan saw him before Lucy did, and did her best to hide him from view but her efforts were useless. Lucy looked tearfully from face to face around the courtyard, finally coming to rest on a smalls, handsome faun behind Susan. It was Mr Tumnus. Lucy burst into sobs as she rushed over to him, taking his freezing, grey hand in hers and squeezing it until her hand ached from the effort. Susan wrapped her arms around her little sister from behind and shhhed at her quietly. Slowly rocking them both from side to side as their mother used to.

Suddenly, Aslan was at their side and he seemed to be smiling in his feline way. Susan pulled Lucy aside slightly and the lion stepped forward to the faun. He let out a huge breath and turned away. Susan and Lucy watched, astonished as the statue in front of them began to break up, and become coloured and move right before their eyes. And then he pitched forward into Lucy's arm and she turned delighted eyes that swam with tears of happiness on her sister.

"Susan, this is..." She was interrupted by Susan flinging herself at the befuddled faun with a cry of "MR TUMNUS!" as she too began to cry with joy. They all three turned smiling to Aslan as he turned to enter the gloomy house.

"Come," He rumbled warmly, "let us search the castle, others may still be trapped inside and Peter will need all the help he can get."

Lucy beamed, deliriously happy and said quietly to Susan, "Peter doesn't need our help. He has Edmund." Susan grinned back proudly. Edmund had changed so much and so quickly since coming here that she found herself thinking illogically that he resembled Peter more than Peter did. She had no worries for Peter at the moment, Edmund would do anything for him now she realised (perhaps he always would have done she mentally added), she just hoped that thanks to Peter's recent and apparent change of heart towards their little brother, that he would do the same for Edmund.

__________________________________________

Peter felt his heart and mind freeze as Orieus charged by him, the world seemed to be moving in slow motion. "STOP!!" He vaguely heard someone scream, he thought it might have been him. He watched in horror as the Witch turned her wand on the massive centaur and he froze mid-fight. He couldn't win this, he realised. _"We just want our brother back." _His earlier words rang in his ears and he wondered when that had changed, because he already had Edmund back. The old Edmund it seemed. The one he could actually like he thought. But that wasn't enough for him was it? He had to try and be the hero. But then, he hadn't wanted to be the hero had he? Edmund and Orieus had handed him this leadership on a silver platter and he had refused it so how had he ended up here in the middle of a battle that he had no hope of winning and with the enemy forces bearing down upon him? Then he remembered, his brother had told him he believed in him. And suddenly, he had too. But, now...his brother! And his sisters! "Edmund." Peter gasped, terrified. He spun around and terrified blue eyes met determined brown. The Witch was approaching him, the swirling thoughts in his head had barely taken a few seconds and she would be upon him soon. He wouldn't be able to hold her off for long! He was exhausted and hot and frightened and he needed his brother and sisters safely out of this.

"EDMUND! There are too many of them! Go! Get out of here! Get the girls, and get them home!" He didn't even stop to make sure his desperate order had been obeyed but he did send a silent prayer to whoever might hear it that his brother might finally have learned to do as he was told.

He had no such luck. Edmund allowed Beaver to drag him up the hill a few steps but then turned back to see the Witch striding towards Peter, a murderous gleam in her eye. And suddenly, this was his chance. He could never redeem himself enough to in his own eyes but perhaps in stopping the Witch, he might give his siblings reason enough to forgive him, even though outwardly it seemed they already had. But he had done nothing to deserve their forgiveness yet! And here was his chance, even if he survived (which he doubted) he would still have saved his brother's life and that was reward enough without forgiveness on top of that. He knew what he had to do.

**A/N (again!): I will try to update again soon but I think we all know what happens next! Also, seriously, not that I'm begging or anything but reviews are great. They brighten up my day even if they're bad reviews and they are less fattening than ice cream. =D So, feel free to review! **

**Oh yes, and for anyone who is interested, Nuntius literally means 'Messenger' in Latin.**


	7. You're Not Alone

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of it. Pity, I know but still true. None of it is mine except this story line. I don't own the characters, I just play with them to satisfy my own addiction to fluffy, sentimentally stuff :)**

**A/N: Sorry it's such a short chapter this time, I just felt that it was a natural end to the chapter. I am hoping though that I can get the next chapter up within the next couple of days, hopefully tomorrow morning if I'm lucky. Thanks for reading and review! They're non-fattening and I love them, they make me feel all fluffy inside.**

_He knew what he had to do. _

He turned and lunged back towards the ongoing battle and his brother, wrenching his arm out of Beaver's paws as he did so.

"Peter said to go!" Beaver said desperately, Edmund hesitated and glanced back into the animal's eyes. They were wide with fright but also something else, Edmund recognised for the second time in as many days, the pride in him shining in another's eyes. It was that pride that made his decision but in truth, he had already made up his mind before he even reached the battlefield that morning.

He turned a grin on Beaver that was almost mischievous and declared confidently, "Peter's not King yet."

And with that, he took off back down the steep slope, stumbling and almost falling in places but he managed to reach the foot of the hill without any major injuries. He raced off towards the lower level where Jadis and his brother were now eyeing each other in hatred, sizing each other up. He saw the look in the Witch's eye, she wasn't scared of Peter, he was just a little boy to her. Edmund's heart skipped a beat as he found himself thinking the same thing, Peter was just a child, how could he possibly take on this Witch alone?

"You're not alone, Pete." Edmund muttered determinedly. He quickly glanced behind him and saw Beaver fighting valiantly with Ginnabrick, the Witch's lapdog. He saw Beaver land a heavy blow with his sword and bite the dwarf's arm viciously, causing him to drop his axe. Ginnabrick howled in pain and retreated a few steps before falling to the ground and lying still. _Good. He deserved it. _ Edmund thought savagely, remembering the dwarf's skill with a whip and yips of delight as he, Edmund sobbed and screamed in pain and terror. And now he turned his attention back towards Jadis, she had moved! He stared horrified around the scene until he spotted her again; she was heading straight towards Peter, a look of pure hatred marring her coldly beautiful face. "No." Gasped Edmund and took off again, ignoring the excruciating stitch in his side and the heavy armour and heat which were causing him to sweat salty beads of water into his newly opened and agonising wounds on his back. His throat was tight and dry, his lips were parched and re-cracking and his entire body felt as though it were on fire but still he fought his way towards the Witch, felling any creature who attempted to get in his way.

She nonchalantly flicked her wand at a passing animal and Edmund's rage redoubled. Letting out a ear-splitting, and raw cry of utter hatred and fear and fury, he held his sword high and leapt towards her, bringing his sword crashing down. Silver, glassy shards flew in every direction and she turned to him, shock quickly being replaced by rage and hatred and then finally, a sort of long-suffering satisfaction as she drew back one arm and thrust the dagger-sharp weapon deep into his stomach. He didn't scream. She spared him one last glance of utter disgust and stalked away.

His world went silent as he clutched at his wound, pressing hard trying to keep the blood from flowing. It was no use. As he sank to his knees and then back onto his back he vaguely heard his older brother's heart-wrenching scream of "EDMUND!!!" He swallowed a few times, trying to wet his throat which was now raw from his screaming and awfully dry. _I don't want to die. Peter please! I'm sorry, I don't want to die. Susan! Mum, Dad! Anyone, please help me! _He wasn't sure whether he said it out loud or not, either way, no help came and in his terror and loneliness he began to sob, harsh throaty sobs which burst from him. Wrenching his stomach and throat causing the wound to spill more precious blood out onto the green round him, and in his pain, he cried more. _I'm sorry! I'm so sorry. Mum, Susan, Lucy I'm so sorry. Dad, please help me. Save me, Peter! _The same litany of words rang in his head and occasionally he would croak a few of them but they were only loud enough for him to hear._ Help. _His voice eventually wore out until he his sobs became silent ones which shook his body agonisingly painfully. _I don't want to die alone._

Edmund, fainted.


	8. Grief

**Disclaimer: Yup, you guessed it. They aren't mine. I don't make any money from it. I just do it for the reviews and for the fun of it.**

**A/N: Again, I'm sorry that it's a very short chapter but I'm going away for a week and I wanted to get this one up before I went. Also, this chapter turned out waaaaaay more angsty than I had planned. I was planning to sort of skim over Eddy's near-death encounter (it's just too painful * sniff *) but instead I virtually wrote an Eddy-snuff fic. Anyway, if the main bulk of the chapter disturbs you in that it's quite morbid, feel free to just skim on to the end (I'm not saying that the end is any less morbid just that there'll be less for you to read lol) And also, do not fear!! Eddy is alive and well(ish). As always, please review**

**In the true spirit of Easter,(not) I have totally skipped the resurrection (sort of) of Aslan but for those of you who celebrate it, have a lovely Easter. For those who don't, then I hope you have a lovely next two weeks anyway. :)**

There was an eerie silence on the battlefield as Susan and Lucy sprinted towards their brother, flinging their arms around him and holding him tight. The only sounds were the death rattles of enemy troops, their soft, gasping sobs as the three of them held each other and the quiet padding of Aslan's giant paws. Susan sat back, taking a deep shuddering breath as she did so. Suddenly, she glanced frantically around them then turned horrified eyes on Peter.

"Where's Edmund!?" Peter and Lucy both turned to her in fear, Peter's blue eyes going almost comically wide as he too began scanning the bodies on the field around them. Suddenly, he shoved Lucy unceremoniously to the ground and, clutching his shoulder where the Witch had stabbed him, he rose unsteadily to his feet.

"Come on!" He called anxiously to the girls as he headed off towards where he had last seen Edmund. He had broken her wand into a million pieces, Peter had never felt so proud and terrified at the same time. Susan and Lucy raced after him, lifting their dresses up over their knees to avoid tripping. When they reached the top of the hill, Peter flung his arm out to stop them going any further. Lucy turned and buried her face in Susan's billowing dress, tears coursing down her face. All over the field in front of them were bodies. Some were still alive but barely, others lay still, eyes wide with whatever emotion was last on their mind. Susan reached out and grabbed Peter's hand, they squeezed hard as the grief and horror of the sight washed over them, they both felt the tears on their face but neither bothered to wipe them away. Susan let out a few shaking gasps as if she were about to say something. They were in shock. Peter turned and bent slightly, retching into the still Spring air. Lucy continued to sob and tremble.

"Do you think this is what Dad sees?" Susan whispered tremulously. Peter's brain wouldn't focus, it was firing random thoughts out, random words which made no sense to him he was too far gone in emotions that were too old for even him to comprehend. _ Dad. War. Mum & Dad. Dad's at war. And we're here. We? Sisters. Brother._

_Brother...? His brother! Edmund!_ Without a word, he ran, tripping down the steep hill and onto the field. Susan suddenly came to her senses and dragging Lucy along behind her, both of them still in tears, she flew down the slope after Peter.

________________________________________________________

It came to him louder than all the other rasping breaths he could hear. It was higher in pitch, and punctuated by a slight thick cough. It was also less animal than all the others. He scanned the dead, and dying again and finally, he spotted him. Lying off from the others, prostrate on the grass with one arm flung out to his side, the other clutching his stomach weakly. "Ed." Breathed Peter.

The three of them dropped to their knees beside their brother, Susan sat behind him, ripping the helmet off him and taking his head gently into her lap and stroking the hair back from his sweaty forehead. His breath was coming in short rasps which sounded terribly painful and there was blood on him. A lot of blood. Lucy's face crumpled but she did not look away, instead she clutched one of his hands tightly in hers and kissed it over and over. Susan's tears overflowed and fell softly onto Edmund's still face.

Peter, sitting at his brother's feet sobbed sporadically and wiped his hands over his face; and then he did the only thing he could think to do to help Edmund. He reached over and unlaced the tight boots that he had forced Edmund's large feet into earlier that morning. Edmund had grumbled and pouted that he would rather wear no shoes at all but Peter had insisted and they had finally squeezed his feet into the tiny boots. Peter slipped them off now, recoiling at the bloody and swollen mass of Edmund's feet where the boots had rubbed his feet into blisters and open sores. The freedom did seem to be welcome though, because Edmund's face relaxed slightly. Peter smiled wetly.

"Oh!" Peter and Susan both jumped in shock as Lucy let put a high pitched scream of realisation. She released Edmund's hand and snatched a tiny red bottle from her pouch around her waist, her older siblings both sobbed in relief as they saw what it was. In their grief and misery, they had completely forgotten the cordial that Father Christmas had given Lucy. She glanced anxiously at them both, looking for their permission, and they both nodded and smiled eagerly. She grinned hopefully and leant over and released the stopper.

One, shining red droplet fell from the bottle and landed soundlessly in Edmund's mouth. They all watched desperately. Nothing happened. Edmund's breath continued to get slower and slower, and more shallow. Finally, it stopped all together.

Peter shut his eyes, silently screaming out in agony and grief. Lucy threw herself over Edmund chest and sobbed hysterically and Susan, too drained to do anything else, let the tears roll freely down her face and leant down silently and kissed Edmund's forehead. Then she moved her head back slightly and laid her forehead against his, reaching out and squeezing one of his pale hands so hard that she was in danger of breaking it. Her mouth opened, in a silent scream which then turned into deep agonised sobs. Her tears mingling with the sweat on Edmund's brow, soaking his dark hair and trailing down into his eyes.

The red droplet of cordial lay gleaming on Edmund's tongue. Lucy began stroking his face, his hair, his chest, anywhere she could reach. His throat. Peter watched her, he almost imagined he had seen Edmund's throat move, his Adam's apple bob slightly as if her were swallowing. He blinked back his tears and looked again, Lucy had laid her head next to Susan's on Edmund face and but she was not crying any more, there were no more tears in her. From his seat at their brother's feet, he was awarded the best view of him, particularly as their sisters had their faces buried in each other's hair. And he was sure he had seen his throat move. He watched, not daring to breathe. And suddenly, a miracle happened. Edmund's chest rose and fell ever so slightly but it had definitely moved. Peter trembled, he hardly dared to hope.

"Su?" Peter croaked quietly. "Susan!"

She glared up at him, her face and eyes red and bloodshot, "Yes?" She sighed shakily.

Peter bit his lip as elation spread through him. "He's breathing."


	9. Spell Shocked

**A/N: I'm sooo sorry about the time it' taken me to update! I've had my A-Level exams this month and the past few have been taken up with revision and though Eddy and Peter did come into my mind very often, I never had time to sit down and do anything about the story! So, sorry and hope it was worth the wait and I'll try to update agan in the next week or so. :) Review please!! (Revisoin and exams that go badly do terrible thigns to a person's psyche, luckily for me, the cure is reviews and feedback which I know you are dying to give me ;) Also, if t helps, the first person to review will get a cookie :)**

**Disclaimer: You know the drill, they aren't mine, wish they were yada yada yada. Anyway, on with the story! Hooray!**

"_He's breathing."_

As if on cue, Edmund coughed loudly. Susan and Lucy fell back in shock, their blue eyes wide as saucers, their mouths agape. Peter smiled in relief and looked up at Susan, who caught his eye and smiled tearfully back.

"Edmund?" Lucy's high, hopeful voice broke the silence. She crept forward again on her hands and knees until her mouth almost touched his right ear. "Edmund?" She called again, shakily.

Dark eyes opened and closed once, twice and finally fixed on Peter's apprehensive face at his feet. Edmund frowned dazedly, _how did he get here? Was the battle over?_ He had no more time to ponder this as long arms suddenly grabbed him and he was slammed none too softly into a mail-clad chest.

"PETER! Be careful!" This from Susan who stared at him in horror. Edmund felt his brother's arms close around his back, a little more gently but just as tight. He could feel Peter's harsh breathing next to his ear and his sweat mingling with his tears dampened Edmund's face. He shut his eyes against the flood of tears which were threatening to escape him and let his breath out shakily.

"'lo Pete." He heard Peter and Susan laugh relievedly and smiled weakly. Susan and Lucy both crawled forward and wrapped their arms around Edmund 's back so that he was in the centre of a circular, three way hug. They both buried their faces against the cold chain mail on his back, and he could tell that they were also crying.

Peter sat back and held Edmund's face in his hands, Edmund glanced apprehensively up at him. Peter gazed at him for a moment, tears still falling then said shakily: "When are you going to learn to do as you're told?" He sniffed a brief smile then his face crumpled and he buried it back in his brother's hair, tucking Edmund's head under his chin as he did so. Edmund and the girls could all feel him trembling. Or maybe it was them? The siblings were interrupted by a deep warm voice saying:

"It is finished. Come, there are others who yet need your help." The last was directed at the youngest Pevensie, she smiled in realisation and leapt up, placing a kiss on Edmund's cheek as she did so. Edmund watched almost disappointedly as his sister ran away to help. His disappointment however, was nothing compared to his sheer panic as his older siblings also began to rise. _They were leaving him? _He stared at them heart brokenly and felt the tears begin to well up in his eyes again. Susan looked at Aslan before glancing down to her younger brother. Seeing his face and correctly guessing what he must be thinking, she dropped back to her knees immediately and put her arms around his shoulder. He went stiff and didn't move. Both Peter and Susan instantly recognised this from before Narnia when Edmund had first started puling away from everyone. Susan was having none of it. She hugged tighter and started whispering reassurances into his ear, and he gradually relaxed. Suddenly, giving a low whimper he twisted his upper body to return the hug and buried his face in the crook of her neck, trembling violently.

Peter, belatedly realising what Edmund had thought, sighed dejectedly and stepped forward to place one hand on his brother's head. He started massaging the dark hair slowly, every so often adding reassurances of his own to Susan's constant litany. Eventually, thanks to Peter's awkward comforting and Susan's soft shhhing the panic subsided enough for Edmund to lean back far enough to give Susan a watery smile.

"Sorry." He said sheepishly.

"Don't be." His brother responded immediately, smiling softly at him. Surveying the scene around them, and taking in the wounded who were already being treated by Lucy and Aslan and the dead who were being carried sadly back to camp, Peter made his decision. "Right." His brother and sister looked up at his decisive tone. "Come on. We're going back to the camp."

"Peter what about the..." Edmund trailed off as he stared in horror, taking in his surroundings for the first time. "They're all..." He couldn't bring himself to say the last word, and started retching. Peter understood and repeated firmly:

"Come on!" He held out one hand to help Edmund up and Susan half pushed him upright. Edmund swayed on his feet, clutching at his side. The wound may not be bleeding but it still hurt! Susan and Peter both took one of his arms and half walked, half carried him back to the Narnian camp.

"You should sleep Ed." Peter stated quietly, leaning against one of the wooden poles supporting the canvas tent. All four of the Pevensies were in there at the moment, Lucy sleeping quietly on Peter's bed. He glanced at Susan but she was watching Edmund. They were no longer wearing their battle suits and wore instead light, cool clothing which was wonderfully soft to the touch and Edmund sat at one end of the bed, legs pulled up to his chest and head on his knees. His side throbbed dully but not unbearably thanks to Mrs Beaver's vile tasting concoction. He stared at nothing, absent-mindedly pulling at a loose thread on his sleeve.

"I'm not tired." Peter raised his eyebrows in questioningly. Of course he was tired! "Besides, it's too noisy." Edmund's eyes flicked briefly over to the small gap in the tent doors. It was twilight now and the camp was quiet except for the distant cries of the grieving, the victory celebrations having been put off out of respect.

Susan wandered slowly over to the bed and sat down next to him. "Edmund, we're all staying together tonight. You won't be alone." She raised one hand and started stroking his hair tenderly. He jerked his head away but remained otherwise unresponsive. Susan looked desperately at Peter, who shrugged helplessly. She turned back to Edmund and said softly "I'm going for a walk, I won't be long." Peter nodded but Edmund gave no sign of having heard her. When she got up however, his eyes followed her sadly to the door and remained fixed on the door for a long while.

Lucy gave a quiet, contented sigh in her sleep and muttered something about sardines then turned so that her back was to the room. Peter's mouth twitched, Edmund gazed fondly at her when his eyes began to go misty. His breathing got heavier and his throat contracted. Peter didn't hear, he continued to watch Lucy sleep. A sudden movement from Edmund caught his attention and he watched his brother intently.

"Ed?" There came no reply. Edmund awkwardly lowered himself to the pillows and turned away from Peter. He drew his legs up towards his chin in the foetal position. Squeezing his eye's shut against his tears. "Edmund?" Peter tried again, taking a step towards him. He wondered whether he should go in search of Susan, she couldn't have gone far. However, just as he began to turn, intent on finding her and bringing her back, Edmund hitched a loud, unmistakable sob.

Peter, was beside his side in seconds.

**So, there it is. Sorry it's so short but I think if I added any more sibling fluff to this chapter my head might explode with ahhhhs and also, I'm really tired lol**


	10. Return To The King's Tent

**Disclaimer: Not mine, no money just fun. **

**A/N: hello! I'm back (at last) and hopefully not too many of you have given up on my slow updates, A Levels have been sheer hell and revision has taken up an _inordinately_ large part of my time. I am now exam free (for the time being) and will hopefully be able to update a little faster. Yay! Anyway, this chapter is mildly-very fluffy and contains quite a bit of brotherly love lol, I'm sorry but it makes me feel all warm and hapy inside so I had to write it. Also I set myself up for it at the end of the last chapter. :)**

**Oh by the way, I think I've borrowed the name Colin Pevensie from some one else, I think it might be SentimentalStar, if it is, I'm very sorry but I always call him Colin my head. ;)**

**Oh and one more thing is my OC in this Menkente. Again she is a messenger type thing and I don't know why but I imagined her to be maybe Orieus's niece or something like that but NOT his daughter, I don't know why but I just don't see him as the wife and kids type but I can see him as the dotingly stern uncle lol. In my mind the name which I derived from the star name Menkent which means "shoulder of the centaur" _(three gold stars to anybody who notices the reference to the meaning of the name in the story!)_ is pronounced **

**'Meh-KEN-Tay' with a silent first N but you can pronounce it however you like lol. After all, I won't know about it...Or will I? Mwahahaha. Again, sorry for the waffling, I've had lots of green tea and it's made me a bit high. On with the story!!!!!! Hurrah!**

**___________________________________________**

Awkwardly, Peter sat and patted his little brother on the back. Edmund paused in his crying, surprised, then buried his face in his hands as his tears turned to loud sobs, biting on one hand in an attempt to muffle the sounds. Peter glanced at Lucy as she shifted in her sleep but did not wake, he sighed in relief and turned back to his little brother. He looked so young, so vulnerable lying there like that and Peter dearly wanted to grab him up in his arms and sit him on his lap as their father would have done but he hadn't the faintest idea where to start. Edmund's sobs soon grew desperate at his brother's apparent indifference to his increased crying and if possible he tucked himself even tighter into his ball. He wanted Susan, he wanted his parents! And, maybe even more so, he wanted his older brother to give some sign that he _cared_ about Edmund's suffering and fears. His entire body ached from exhaustion but his side, where the Witch had stabbed him was sheer agony! Vivid, fleeting memories of the battle and battlefield kept flashing in his mind's eye, everything washed in a sickening red. His head spun and quite suddenly, he threw himself across Peter's knees and was violently sick over the floor.

Peter winced for his brother and, forgetting his prior awkwardness, he began rubbing slow circles on his little brother's back as he retched. Edmund's small body trembled with the exertion and the pain from his wound, in between heaves he released small sobs and the tears flowed even more freely down his already soaked face. Peter sighed and began making soft shhhhing noises leaning down until his mouth almost touched Edmund's ear to be heard over the now dry heaving.

Finally, his now empty stomach aching and his head pounding, Edmund released a few shaky breaths and sniffed loudly. Peter pulled out a handkerchief - from nowhere it seemed – and held it up to Edmund's face as he gently lifted him up to sit. Blinded by tears, and dizzied from exhaustion, Edmund sat quite still as Peter dabbed at him clumsily. After a minute or so of wiping Edmund's tears away, Peter held the damp cloth up to his brother's nose.

"Blow." He commanded quietly. Edmund noisily complied. Peter sniffed a grin at this. Heaving a few more shuddering breaths, Edmund became more aware of his surroundings. And position. His face, pale from exhaustion and nausea now flushed a violent red as he realised that he, Edmund Pevensie, at the grand age of ten, was and had been for some time been sat in his brother's lap, his head resting against Peter's shoulder. His eyes grew wide and his body went stiff with embarrassment. However, as he moved to get up, Peter held him back firmly, slipping one arm around Edmund's shoulders and pressing his head back down with one hand.

"Pete?" He hadn't meant it to come out as a whimper.

"Shh. It's all right Ed." Peter admittedly also felt vaguely uncomfortable, unaccustomed as he was to such close and affectionate proximity to his brother. But, he reasoned that if their father had been there, he would have been doing the same thing (Colin Pevensie had always maintained an affectionate relationship with both of his boys, openly displaying this affection with little thought to the opinions of anyone who might see them). Now as Edmund's breathing quickened and his body shook slightly in his brother's arms, Peter began to wonder whether or not he was in fact going about comforting his brother in the right way. He was just about to release his little brother when quite suddenly, Edmund's body went rigid and his breathing stopped altogether.

"Edmund?" The concern and caring in his voice was evident. He was almost afraid to look down. "Ed?" Quite abruptly, Edmund turned and threw himself into his big brother's chest, clutching at Peter's soft shirt like driftwood in a storm and crying desperately, his breathing coming in strangled gasps from the effort of trying to hold in his sobs.. Peter immediately brought his arms back around his brother and held on tight, shhing and muttering reassurances into the dark hair, occasionally dropping soft kisses onto his temple. Edmund had curled himself up so tightly that he now sat entirely upon Peter's lap, his legs pulled tightly to his chest.

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Peter lay quietly, eyes closed but wakeful. His arms encircling the sleeping form of his brother, lying fully on top of him, chest to chest, Edmund's head pillowed on his shoulder and his hair tickling Peter's chin. It had been the better part of three hours since Susan had left and Peter, though infinitely willing to comfort his brother as long as was necessary, was grateful when Edmund's desperate sobbing had turned to quiet weeping and eventually just the occasional sniffle. Even during their years of constant quarrel, his little brother's crying had been difficult to hear and now that they had quite literally kissed and made up and were probably closer than ever before, Edmund's distress had proved almost torturous to listen to. Thankfully for Peter, and presumably for Edmund as the strain of his crying must have been agony, Edmund had at last cried himself out and fallen asleep, eyelids closing over bloodshot and red-rimmed brown eyes.

As Peter remembering the day's events - most particularly the terrifying moment when he and his sister's had presumed their brother dead – he quite understandably presumed said brother to be sleeping so still was he lying. He was therefore startled by the quiet, rasping enquiry.

"When did Lucy leave?"

Peter glanced over to Lucy's vacated bed in surprise, having quite forgotten that she was there to begin with, not mention oblivious of when she made her exit. He hesitated then replied softly, "I...I don't know."

Edmund 'hmmed' drowsily, evidently not awake enough to give much thought to their sister's absence. Peter reluctantly began loosening his arms around his brother, bracing himself for the explosion of embarrassment and shock which he was certain would follow Edmund's awakening enough to realise where he was. He was pleasantly surprised when Edmund made a small sound of protest and snuggled his head back under Peter's chin.

"S'nice Pete." Came the grouchy and exhausted explanation.

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"Susan?"

"Yes, Lucy?" Though her voice was cheerful, Susan's face betrayed her anxieties about their brothers.

"Do you suppose we should just sleep in our own beds?" Susan didn't need to look at her younger sister to know how tired she was, it was evident in her high voice which was strained by a yawn mid-sentence. If she was perfectly honest, she would rather like to go to sleep as well but she had sworn to herself and her younger brother that she would stay with him that night and she and Peter had both agreed that they rather fancied bunking together with their younger siblings. This sentiment had been silently echoed by Edmund when she had left them earlier while Lucy was sleeping.

She shook her head, though in the relative darkness she wasn't certain Lucy had seen. "No Lu. Peter and I thought it would be nice to stay together tonight." She smiled at Lucy then added, more to herself, "Besides, I want to check on Edmund."

Both sisters were silent for a while. Sitting as far from their brothers' tent as they were, only the very sharpest of hearing could have heard Edmund's crying, though Lucy having told Susan of it, both were tense with worry. On hearing the situation, Susan had ordered that nobody should disturb her brothers that night and that any decisions were to be taken to her and not Peter, something which though she did not know it, Peter had guessed and was immensely grateful for.

Many of the loyal animals populating the camp had stopped to pass the time of day (or rather night) with their young queens but their numbers had eventually dwindled as the night went on and now the only animals left awake were those in mourning for their losses (who of course were not expected to be particularly social) and those unlucky animals who had to be on watch. _ But of course_, Susan reasoned logically, _somebody had to be. _Lanterns had been lit where Susan and Lucy sat, fretfully picking grass and staring at the great Narnian skies. The time, by Susan's guess was about ten o'clock at night, and were they in England, none of the Pevensies would still be up. As for the Narnians, the night was still relatively young however after the past few days events, each was taking this time of peace to take their rest. And so, the camp was quiet but for the usual night time sounds, the sisters' murmured voices and the foot (or hoof) steps of those on guard.

"Greetings my queens." Both Susan and Lucy turned, startled at their sudden company who had arrived on almost silent legs. Susan rose to her feet and smiled wearily at the newcomer.

"Good evening, General." She was uncertain as to whether she, as his queen was permitted to call him by his given name and so not wanting to appear rude had taken to addressing Orieus by his title instead.

He smiled congenially down at her and then turned his rare smile upon the younger of the two who, so overcome with fatigue was she that she had not risen and therefore remained sprawled on the ground. She did however offer him a sweet, bright smile, upside down as he appeared to her. Orieus was pleased to see that although her elder siblings seemed to insist upon acting their titles rather than their ages, Queen Lucy still looked for all the world like a tired and happy child. Of course, he was merely guessing at the fitting behaviours for their ages, he had had no experience with humans before and was basing his assumptions upon their appearances. To him, they all appeared to be frighteningly young. He was therefore unphased by the sounds coming from inside the King's tent when he had passed by there for the first time earlier.

Orieus spent a good while conversing quietly with his future queens, accepting with good grace but no modesty the compliments bestowed upon him by them regarding the battle. His lack of modesty, Susan realised, was simply his confidence in his own battle skills. In fact, knowing what she did of him, Susan suspected that if the centaur were to show any modesty it would be completely false and would be obviously so (she did not suspect Orieus was the kind of centaur to hide behind false masks very easily).

Presently, a young female centaur whose human features looked to be perhaps three years older than Susan herself, ambled clumsily into the soft circle of light where they were sat. She smiled widely at the two queens then, at a gently stern look from Orieus, straightened her features to give her message to the General. Orieus stood and Susan noticed that the girl came just up to Orieus's shoulder and resembled him somewhat in looks.

"Yes, Menkente?" Orieus barked, as quietly as he could. The young centaur – Menkente – blushed immensely as her queens both fastened their gazes upon her and lowered her own gaze to the ground which she scuffed at with one hoof. Orieus cleared his throat meaningfully and Menkente turned an chagrined face to him, beckoning him down so that she could whisper her message in his ear. The General frowned even harder but complied. After a few seconds he straightened and nodded at the young female, dismissing her with another dark but more exasperated than angry scowl.

Susan smiled up at him expectantly and Lucy paused in her worrying of the grass in front of her to look up curiously. The centaur cleared his throat and announced in an almost comforting voice:

"Majesties, I am informed by my..." He sighed resignedly. "...scout that all in now quiet in your brothers' tent and that you are likely able to return without disturbing any...conversations." He finished and Susan was amused to see the normally blunt General struggling to find words. She smiled warmly at him and lifted her skirts to stand. Holding out a hand to Lucy, who also smiled brightly at the centaur she turned and began to turn to leave. "Might I suggest you_ all _take some rest my Queens?" Susan nodded, then giving into her impulses (something she rarely did) Susan turned back and kissed the centaur's hand (the highest point on him she could reach) saying warmly:

"Thank you _Orieus_, for keeping my sister and I from worrying about our brothers too much. And for looking after them so well on the battlefield today." She began to turn and again doubled back. "Perhaps General, you should follow your own orders and take some rest?" She grinned impishly and ran to catch up with her younger sister.

**Also, a cookie goes to VampiresWizardsCentaursOhmy who I believe was first to review chapter 9. Thank you very much! (and thanks to those who also reviewed but were not first lol)**


	11. From Camp To Cair

**Disclaimer: property of c.s. Lewis and Walden media.**

**A/N: yes, yes I know. I said that now my exams were over I would update faster and if anything I've been slower! I'm truly sorry but I have had such severe writer's block that I have literally worked on this almost everyday since my last update. Anyway, here it is Chapter 11 of my first ever fanfic. I'm thinking maybe one or two chapters then I'm done on this one and I can move onto my next one. I was thinking Torchwood :)**

**On another note, having read and re-read my last chapter (chapter 10), I'm thinking of re-writing it. I was happy with it and personally I love the fluffy stuff that's in it but I'm thinking maybe it's just a tad too fluffy? Let me know what you think please?**

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Upon entering the tent, Susan felt her breath catch in her throat. So shocked was she that she had to blink to be certain of what she saw. Lying atop one another, on Peter's bed were both of her brothers! Both were obviously deep in sleep, Peter on the bottom, his left arm thrown carelessly out to one side, and Edmund lying with Peter's right arm about him, dark hair being blown gently by Peter's deep and steady breathing.

"See?" Lucy's smug voice cut through Susan's astonished thoughts.

"Lucy, I...well, when you said -" Susan, was for once, speechless. Lucy had of course told her of Edmund's state – she had almost sprinted back to the tent because of it! - but when Lucy had told her that Peter _"had it under control." _this was far more than she had ever expected. She could scarcely recall ever having seen her brothers so well, _intimate. _ Not that she wasn't pleased; she was well aware of the closeness of the bond between their father and her brothers but she had never anticipated that Peter and Edmund's relationship would ever even vaguely resemble it. Finally, she managed to gasp out a strangled "Yes Lucy. I see."

Lucy's brilliant smile indicated that she was also pleased by this turn of events. And, putting aside her complete dumbfoundedness, Susan led Lucy over to the other bed and lifted the blanket for her to climb in. She fell asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow. Laying down next to her, Susan shifted to face her brothers and lay, suddenly wide awake, watching them silently until the room became so dark that she could no longer see any more than the outlines of their slumbering forms.

"What _has _this place done to us?" She wondered, smiling. Then yawning deeply, she added to the sleeping boys "Narnia's good for you two." Then, just as she was turning over to go to sleep:

"I know Su. Goodnight."

She sniffed a grin, "Goodnight Peter."

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The next few days passed in a whirlwind of impromptu celebrations, archery lessons, sword fighting lessons (on horseback and on foot!) and even more impromptu dress fittings. The Pevensie siblings barely had time to pass the time of day together and even when they lay under their blankets each night, they were all so exhausted that holding a conversation seemed unthinkable.

The party was making it's way towards Cair Paravel where the four of them would soon be crowned the new kings and queens of Narnia, but progress was slow. There was so much baggage and tools, weaponry, tents, clothes, cots, and food. Not to mention the wounded who needed to be carried, those who could walk but whose pace was painstakingly slow, and then of course there were those who could and were walking, weighed down by heavy armour in case of attack, the wives and children of the soldiers, and many creatures whom they had encountered and somehow picked up along the way. All creatures considered, their party probably came to about 2000 animals including Aslan and the Pevensies.

Now that Spring well and truly had arrived, the Narnian Sun shone for most of the day, it's rays hotter than that of England for it was a newer Sun. It bathed the abundant greenery and flowers in watery sunlight but it did at times, make the journey unbearably warm. The Great River, while providing ample and delicious fresh water for all, also hindered their journey. Were they able to travel straight across from the battlefield to the Cair, they could have reached it in perhaps three days. However, The Great River flowed fast and deep with no bridges and as such they were forced to take the longer route which led within a mile of the battlefield to where the river was at its narrowest and ford it there. After that they followed the land to Owlwood, which in Susan and Lucy's opinions made the whole journey worthwhile. The ground within the small woodland was a blanket of brightly coloured flora which shone and glistened in the cool sunlight of Spring – even Peter and Edmund had to admit that it _was_ rather beautiful. However this detour, wondrous as it was, meant that consequently, if their navigators were to be believed, the journey would take them no less than a week and may be even more.

They were nearing evening on the fifth day when Orieus called a halt for the evening and set scouts and watches before bidding the children amuse themselves however they liked – there would be no training today. So, sore and aching from their trek and despite the fact that the girls in particular had spent much of their time on horseback, the Pevensie children fell in a most undignified way onto the soft grass and lay there unspeaking for almost five minutes.

"I say, what's that?" Said Peter, sitting up and gazing into the horizon. Susan pulled herself up to sit while the younger two angled their faces so that they could see but otherwise remained unmoving. Susan frowned in thought.

"It looks...like a-a sort of...castle?" She glanced at Peter but he was standing now to get a better look. "Do you think that may be it? Cair Paravel?"

Peter narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. "Yes, I-I suppose it could be."

"But it's _so_ far away! It's going to take us _months_ to reach that!" Edmund's voice was raised in a petulant whine. He and Lucy had been getting increasingly impatient and ill-tempered throughout the day and their exhaustion was so great that their bad moods were beginning to come through.

"Where is it? I can't even see it!" Lucy grumbled sulkily, her eyes half closed with tiredness as she too squinted into the dusky horizon. Edmund rolled himself closer to her and pointed a wavering finger at the silhouette which was indeed a castle. "Oh." Was all the response Lucy could muster when she did locate it.

"Majesties." Orieus' deep voice startled them out of their musings. Susan jumped up to curtsy politely to the huge centaur and Peter inclined his head awkwardly. Susan was acutely aware that her younger brother and sister had made no such efforts. She grimaced apologetically at Orieus who also inclined his head, seeming not to have noticed her discomfort.

"Is there something wrong, General?" Peter drew himself up to his...average...height and puffed his chest out importantly, making Edmund and Lucy giggle quietly. Even Susan ducked her head to hide her smile.

"There is not Sir Peter. We have had word from Aslan. He bids you well and will meet us at Cair Paravel but is engaged in other parts tonight. Our soldiers are seeking out the last of the Witch's followers and will see justice is done. And all is quiet around us tonight. You should all rest." The last was a statement and not a suggestion.

Peter's heart fell when he heard that Aslan would not be returning that night, nor by the sounds of it the next. He didn't mind, after all it was he and his siblings who were supposed to rule now but he wished he had Aslan there. Not only did he feel much safer in his presence, but he had often been in need of His guidance this week. But as Orieus had said, Aslan was need elsewhere and who were they to question him. He would be there for the coronation, and that was enough. He supposed. He knew his siblings also felt similar to him, though Lucy perhaps missed him more than the rest, and Edmund missed him for different reasons.

He listened vaguely to Susan and Orieus exchanging stilted enquiries, Susan asking many uninformed and useless questions about their military and such and Orieus in turn asked polite questions about Susan's opinion of Narnia and her pastimes. Peter doubted that either were particularly interested in the other's reply. "Orieus?" He broke in suddenly. Susan shot him a mortified glare for interrupting but said nothing.

"Sire?"

"That castle, over there," He pointed into the almost dark skyline at the black shadow of the turreted building they had seen earlier. "Do you know where and what it is?"

Orieus smiled warmly - a rare thing Susan thought – and when he spoke the smile was evident in his voice. "Sire, it is Cair Paravel. There sit the four thrones in which you and your royal siblings shall soon sit."

Susan and Peter both let out awed sighs and dazedly bid Orieus goodnight, giving their promises that they and their younger siblings would soon be asleep. They turned to speak to said siblings and Peter let out a short laugh. Edmund and Lucy were both sound asleep, Edmund lying on one side with Lucy curled in to his stomach with one ear against his chest. Apparently their foul moods did not extend to each other.

Sighing, and feeling happy despite himself, Peter whispered "I'll go and fetch the blankets shall I?" Susan nodded and Peter soon returned carrying four frankly, enormous blankets made especially for them. Together they spread two of them over their little brother and sister and lay down either side of them, Susan laying one arm around Edmund.

"Do you think we'll ever get to the Cair?" Peter asked laughing quietly.

Susan grinned. "I hope so. Imagine what Mum would say if she knew how long it's been since we had baths!" Peter laughed more as he heard Susan giggle in the darkness next to him.

"Two days, Orieus said." He turned towards his three siblings, and sighed contentedly. "Goodnight Susan."

Susan smiled sleepily and yawned "Goodnight Peter."

**Review? They're non-fattening and hopefully they might cure my writer's block ;)**


	12. Well?

**Disclaimer: It's not mine, if it was, I'd be rich and would probably spend a lot less time writing Fanfics for it. Don't you think?**

**A/N: A thousand apologies for my complete and utter inability to bash a chapter out in over what, like 2 months?! Ridiculous. * shakes head * Anyway, here it is. This really is my second to last, chapter of this one, it was going to be the last because I think it comes to a pretty natural end in this but I believe someone wanted me to write the coronation so maybe I'll do another chapter but it'll be a very very short one I think. Lots of stuff seems to happen in this chapter (well, to me anyway) and I think it probably moves a lot faster than the previous chapters but hopefully that's not a bad thing. Personally, I quite like the opening scene of this chapter but meh.**

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"Good news!" Peter declared cheerfully, striding through the long grass towards where his siblings were sat. He grinned broadly "Just one more day!"

Lucy flopped on to her back with a disgruntled harrumph, her small face set in a sulking pout. "You said that yesterday!" She whined furiously.

Peter's face fell and Susan squeezed his hand sympathetically. "I'm only telling you what Nashira tells me." He snapped, hurt. Also slumping to the ground, next to Edmund.

It was the seventh day of their trek from the battlefield to Cair Paravel, two days since they had first sighted it and Peter had religiously relaid whatever their navigator (an elderly falcon by the name of Nashira) had told him to his younger siblings. Talented as she was, and aided by the ability to have a literal bird's-eye view of their journey, her estimations of journey time were often a little out due to her guesses being 'as the bird flies' rather than 'as the man walks'.

Lucy continued to pout as Susan suggested she go to sleep, declaring stubbornly that she wasn't tired, just sick of travelling. Susan and Peter exchanged a look over Edmund's head. Edmund, who lay on his side facing Susan, one arm underneath his head and the other loosely clutching Susan's, stirred fitfully in his sleep. Susan immediately murmuring "shhh." into his ear. After he settled once more, Susan began a conversation with her older brother. It was about nothing in particular and was more to distract him and Lucy from glaring at one another than anything else. Peter was obviously uninterested in whatever she said and simply 'hmmed' in the appropriate places and laughed when it was required. Susan gave up after a few minutes of this, deciding to let her siblings fume at each other if they wanted to.

Eventually, exhausted from the day's travelling and struggling to remain indifferent to Lucy's occasional furious glances, Peter laid down next to Edmund. Both Susan and Lucy tutted at him disapprovingly. Exasperated, and feeling not a small amount of sadistic satisfaction, he surreptitiously dug one elbow into his brother's back – if he had to listen to Lucy's not so subtle discontent then why shouldn't Edmund? Edmund awoke with a strangled noise somewhere between a yelp and a gasp, one hand flying to hold his back where Peter had knocked him. Susan, immediately helping him to sit up and whispering to him as tears of pain sprang to his eyes, glared murderously over Edmund's shoulder at Peter. The latter, realising belatedly that he must have nudged Edmund almost exactly where the Witch has stabbed him, bit his lip as he felt a flood of guilt wash over him. He moved forward and knelt next to Susan, placing one arm around Edmund's shoulder and hushing him uncomfortably. Even Lucy gave up her sulking to fuss over her older brother.

Edmund's face twisted in pain as he turned, rubbing his damp face into Susan's neck, whimpering quietly. Lucy stood by his side, her small, pale hand reaching up to stroke her brother's dark hair and Peter glanced around looking for someone to help. Of course there wasn't much they could do, there was no wound to be seen – just a pale, silvery scar, but the pain of the invisible wound was obvious and very real.

After a couple of minutes, the tension in Edmund's body eased and he sat back from Susan smiling sheepishly up at her, biting one nail nervously. She sighed exasperatedly and returned the smile, taking the handkerchief proffered by their brother and dabbing gently at Edmund's tear stained cheeks.

"Are you alright Edmund?" Edmund nodded stoically and Susan smiled grimly, sighing "I suppose it will hurt for a while yet Ed, but.." here she raised her eyes to their older brother, glaring. "hopefully Peter will be able to _keep his elbows to himself_ in future!"

Lucy's small round face formed a surprised look of outrage and she stared furiously at Peter, whose face was already red and who ducked his head in disgrace.

" 'm sorry Ed." He offered sheepishly nudging Edmund's shoulder with his.

Edmund paused, nibbling his thumbnail nervously, and glanced at Susan who shrugged her shoulders at him then he said, finally: "It's alright Pete. It...was probably an accident,...wasn't it?"

Peter looked at him somewhat surprised at Edmund's good grace and rubbed the back of his neck looking guiltily at his little brother, who quite suddenly broke out into a genuine smile. Then as Peter's face broke into a half-apologetic half-elated grin, Edmund found himself laughing quietly and grinning too and soon their sisters had both followed suite. Peter and Susan's eyes made contact once more over the top of Edmund's head and smiled even wider at each other, relieved, and Susan found herself pausing just to watch and listen to their younger brother's laughter which none of them had heard for so long. She couldn't help herself, she leant over and kissed the top of his dark head once more. Edmund glared good naturedly up at her through his thick fringe of dark hair, his pout was beginning to rival Lucy's best.

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"It's so beautiful!" Lucy's awestruck voice broke through the silence of her siblings. The three older Pevensie siblings found themselves nodding dumbly at her, having lost the power of speech upon entering the magnificent throne room of Cair Paravel. The exterior of the Cair was wonderful, each and every one of the rooms - even the corridors - was spectacular but this room, this great, wondrous room seemed to take their breath away. The enormous arches which supported the great, carved roof, down to the mirror-like surface of the floor was like a dream to the evacuated city children. It was like nothing they had ever seen, once, their father had taken Susan and Peter into the abbey at Westminster but even that wondrous architecture paled in comparison to this.

Peter gulped loudly, and murmured in a would-be-casual voice, "I suppose...they're for us?" He nodded towards the four tall thrones at the far end of the hall then glanced at Aslan.

"The four thrones of Cair Paraval." Aslan rumbled impressively. "They have all been waiting for you. Narnia has been waiting for you." Here He turned his great head and studied them each in turn. Susan looked terrified, Peter – very pale and Edmund seemed to have gone a peculiar shade of green. Lucy however seemed to be positively bouncing with excitement.

"Oh Aslan! It's wonderful! Susan? Don't you think it's wonderful?"

Susan made an odd jerking movement with her head and let out a strangled "Yes, Lu."

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"What if we aren't up to it?!"

Susan stared, wide-eyed. "What do you mean _'if'_!? Peter, we're children! Of course we aren't up to it!"

Peter flung himself into a nearby chair then immediately threw himself back out of it and resumed his pacing. He shook his hands agitatedly and faced Susan. "We'll just tell them....We'll tell them we're very sorry but we can't possibly stay. We'll explain to them that we're _children_, that we can't be kings and queens! We'll be apologetic but firm, stand our ground but be sympathetic about it, we'll...oh! It's never going to work is it? We can't just leave now." Peter leant against a wall, his shoulders slumped looking utterly defeated.

"What are we going to do?" Edmund's quiet voice interrupted the jumbled thoughts racing around his siblings' heads.

"There's nothing we can do Ed. We'll just have to go along with it and pray that when we prove how wrong they were about us, nobody gets hurt." Susan's voice was higher than usual but she outwardly appeared calm. Peter stared incredulously at her from across the lounge area.

"Are you mad? That's your plan? To just go along with it?!" Peter's pacing resumed and his limbs jerked agitatedly. There was a few minutes silence while Peter paced feverishly, Susan and Edmund sat in silence on the plush sofa and Lucy sulked spectacularly in the corner of the room. A few more minutes passed then:

"Peter will you stop? You're making me sea-sick." Peter did stop and blinked at his brother as though only just noticing him, then he too plunked himself on the sofa next to Susan.

"Sorry." And for the next few hours, silence reigned.

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"_I_ think you're all being silly." Lucy announced quite suddenly. Three heads swivelled in her direction displaying varying degrees of curiosity, caution and annoyance. When she did not continue, Peter finally said snappishly:

"Really? How so, Lu?"

Lucy glared but continued. "Aslan thinks we're up to it! Surely, if He thinks we are then we are!"

Peter and Susan exchanged looks across the room, Edmund glanced between them and went back to chewing his nails nervously.

"We're only children Lucy." Susan explained quietly. "And besides, what about going home? They won't know where we are, the professor and Mrs McCreedy, or Mum."

"Actually," Edmund broke in thoughtfully. "I don't think time passes the way it should back home,while we're here in Narnia. When Lucy and...and I came here that time, I'd say barely a minute had passed between us coming in and us coming out again." Susan frowned at him slightly and pressed her lips together. "I was just saying." He muttered quietly to Peter, who smiled grimly at him.

"Well, I think we could do it. And I think that if we couldn't Aslan wouldn't have chosen us, and we wouldn't have ever gotten this far either!" Lucy delared stubbornly and stormed out of the room in a huff. The three remaining Pevensies were quiet for a moment then Peter spoke up cautiously.

"Maybe...Lu's right." His siblings gazed at him, looking hopefully at him. "Well, let's think about this...logically." Both boys smiled and Susan's lips twitched. "We never thought we'd be _any _ help to these people, but we were! We defeated the White Witch! _We_ did that!"

"WITH Aslan's help _and_ theirs." Susan interrupted pointedly. Peter frowned at her then continued excitedly.

"There's an entire prophecy about us. _ Four_ thrones, two sons of Adam, two daughters of Eve! We were meant to do this! We can do this! I know we can do this, Lucy's right! We just...we just need a little help." Peter's animated speech trailed off as he saw the look on his sister's face. "You... you don't think we can do this." Susan raised her dark brows in a '_Really?'_ kind of way.

"We didn't think we'd win that fight." Edmund spoke slowly and thoughtfully, glancing from Peter to Susan. "And, I...I never thought I'd see any of you again. But I did, and we did. And Su, maybe it _was_ because we had Aslan on our side, but even if he isn't here, I don't think it means he's not on our side any more. Peter, Susan's right. We can't do this alone." Susan looked relieved. "But Susan, Peter and Lucy are right too. Because Aslan believes we can do this, and...and that should be good enough for us to at least try." His eyes flicked back to Peter who smiled proudly at him.

A bell rang somehwere, calling the Cair's residents to supper and Lucy returned, pouting but looking more worried than anything else. "Well?" She said anxiously.

Edmund glanced at his elder siblings, slid off his chair, and silently lead Lucy back out of the room. Susan and Peter watched each other intently. Suddenly, Peter pushed himself away from the wall and held out his arm to Susan.

"Well? Shall we, _your Majesty_?"

Susan hesitated, glanced up at Peter's face then: "Thank you..._King_ Peter."

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**So there it is, the last/2nd to last chapter of my first fanfic. As always, please please please review. I know I don't deserve it for leaving you all with no updates for so long but please? Go on, be better people than I am ;)**


	13. Forgiving Him

**Disclaimer: Not mine blah blah blah.**

**A/N: Okay so, it wasn't as soon as I hoped I'd get it done but it has been I believe about a week which is roughly how long it took me to update when I first started writing it. :) Anyway, here it is, the last chapter of my first ever fanfic. Hope you have enjoyed it please please please review!! I have 61 reviews, if possible I would like to get it to at least 70? (I know talk about fishing for reviews) Also, if you're like me and get kind of welled up at the slightest bromancey fluffy bits, then you may need a tissue. Lots of Eddie fluff and brotherly love, in fact I don't think Susan is in this chapter at all! Anyway, enjoy Narnia fans!! There are a few people who I am touched by as it seems you reviewed almost every chapter! Thank you so much! This isn't all of you that reviewed I'm afraid but these are the ones whose names stuck out in my head so, thanks to ProdigiousDiscourse, Xanthiae, B00kworm92, SiriuslyLoopy and VampiresWizardsCenatursOhMy for all of their lovely reviews, they have each of them really made my day whenever I have read them. Also thanks to Xanthiae as your stories were the ones that really inspired me :) as did your reviews. Thanks to all of those who added this story to their favourites or alerts and hopefully I did not disappoint. Hope you all enjoy this chapter and my next story if and when I upload one! Thanks, Tia_Pixie**

**Oh right, yeah and the first section is pretty much taken straight from the film, I'm not claiming it to be mine.**

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Lucy watched miserably as Aslan walked slowly along the beach, willing him to come back to them - to her. She felt warm tears trickling down her face and sensed a presence next to her.

"We'll see him again." Tumnus murmured consolingly.

Lucy held back a sob. "When?"

He smiled at her softly, her blind trust in in unfailing despite his past mistakes. "In time...you mustn't press him, after all He isn't a tame lion..." He shared a grin with the young queen.

"No, but he is good."

"Here, I think you need this more than I do." Again they both smiled, sharing the memory. When they looked back at the beach, the lion was gone.

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From another balcony around the corner of the cair, Edmund too felt tears threatening as he watched the Great Lion walk away once more. He swallowed deeply and dashed away the tears with the back of his hand. Who knew when they would ever see Him again? He sighed and leant his elbows on the cold stone wall, gazed out to sea, shivering in the cool wind. Spring may have finally arrived but it was only a week since the entire land was covered in a thick blanket of snow.

The words at the coronation echoed in his mind as if he were back there again. _"To the glistening eastern sea, I give you Queen Lucy the Valiant." _ He closed his eyes as he recalled his little sister's pure joy at the title. "_To the radiant southern sun, Queen Susan the Gentle."_ Susan had been radiant in his eyes, lighting up the hall with her smile. The title fitted her so very well, Heavens knew she'd always been gentle to him even when he didn't deserve it, she could also be fiercely protective and painfully like their mother at times. Narnia was in good hands with his sisters as their queens. _"And to the clear northern skies, King Peter the Magnificent."_ There could never have been anyone in his eyes who deserved the title more than his older brother did. Peter whom he had fought with constantly since their father had gone away, fought with even before he left. Peter who had always taken the blame for their fights at school even though it meant a letter being written to their mother to tell her, and even the occasional beating. Peter who had chased off bullies twice his size to protect Edmund. Who had come looking for him after their arrival in Narnia even though Edmund had betrayed him and the girls. Who had smiled at him, however briefly when he finally arrived at the Narnian camp. Peter who had held him and let him cry even though he didn't deserve it. Who had stood up to the White Witch though he must have been terrified. Who had tucked a blanket around him when he had fallen asleep with Lucy on their journey to the cair. Peter.

"Ed?" Peter who was stood right behind him. Edmund started and whirled around, ignoring the protest in his side as he did so. Peter smirked at his brother's wide eyed expression and strolled up to where he stood on the balcony, sensing rather than seeing Edmund tense as he joined him. He tried to ignore the sharp pang of regret and hurt. "It's cold out here. We should go back inside, Su won't be happy if we ruin surviving the fighting only to catch our deaths out here." He said it cheerfully and Edmund summoned a small grin for Peter's benefit, Peter was after all, truly trying to be kind though Edmund couldn't imagine why.

"I'd rather stay out here Peter. It's too noisy in there, I can't think." Edmund spoke quickly and without thinking.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Just...Mum. And Dad." He turned pained brown eyes on his older brother. "They'd be so ashamed of me Peter. Even more than usual."

Peter tutted but spoke softly. "They aren't ashamed of you Ed. None of us are." He reached out a hand and placed it on top of his brother's smaller one. He was more than a little hurt when Edmund pulled his away as though he'd been burned. Edmund did not however, move away.

" 'm sorry Peter." Edmund placed his hand back on the wall.

Peter reached out for it again. "It's all right. I suppose I surprised you?" Peter's voice was unsure, as though willing his brother to agree that his only reason for pulling away was surprise.

"Yes...well, no. I..." Edmund shook his dark head and sighed irritably. He just couldn't get the words he wanted to say. "I didn't...mean about...that." He finally said, haltingly.

Peter frowned. "Oh." Was all he said.

Edmund clenched and unclenched his fists, his entire body near trembling with nervous tension. "I meant...I'm sorry about...what I did, well almost did...No!_ Did_. To you and the girls."

Peter's features slackened into an expression of shock. "Ed, you don't have to. I _know_ you're..." He started awkwardly.

"No Peter!" Edmund interrupted angrily. "Peter! Please, I need to say this! Please!" He glanced hopefully at him. Peter nodded and turned back to the sea. When Edmund was certain he was not going to be interrupted again, he began speaking again, quietly and haltingly. "Peter,...when I first came to Narnia...after Lucy did the first time, I...met this woman" Peter snorted and Edmund looked up fearfully. Peter tried to look encouraging whilst not looking angry at Edmund referring to Her as a woman. "Peter, she was...she was really kind to me. I was freezing cold and...I didn't know where I was and I...I was scared. She gave me sweets! and hot chocolate! And she let me sit with her and I...I trusted her! And...back home and at the professor's house, all anyone ever seemed to do was shout at me. I felt...as though I didn't..._belong_ with you. And She, she was so nice but I still felt as though there was something wrong but I ignored it!" He laughed bitterly. "She said she wanted a son. Someone to be the _Prince_ of Narnia! And....I, I wanted that. I wanted, just once to feel as though it was the _three of you_ who...who weren't good enough for me! Because Peter, that's how I felt. I wasn't good enough for you three or Mum and Dad!" Peter watched as Edmund wiped away more tears before adding almost inaudibly "That's how I feel!"

"Edmund..." Peter tried once more desperately wanting to escape this conversation which he had known would come eventually. But once again, Edmund seeming angry to have been interrupted again cut him off.

"I'm not trying to make excuses! I just want to tell you. I want to tell you because...because you're my brother and I..." He sighed heavily again. "I just wanted you to know. I didn't do it because I was angry at you or the girls. Or because I wanted your attention or even because I wanted to get back at you. I just wanted to make you jealous! To have something that you couldn't have! And She was nice to me and Peter, all you and Su had been to me since we got to the professor's was nasty! You called me names," Peter opened his mouth to object but: "You did Pete! And Su shouted at me for teasing Lucy and you...you were trying to be Dad! You...you smacked me Pete. Only Dad ever does that and I hated it...I hated you! I wanted to forget but you wouldn't let me and then I found this place that only Lucy and I knew about and I didn't really even believe it was real! I really didn't Peter! You called me a liar but I wasn't! I didn't believe it! And then we came back and it was real...and She was so close! And she liked _me_ and not you three and I wanted that. _I _wanted to be the Golden Boy Peter!"

Edmund paused to take a much-needed breath and again wiped away his tears angrily. Peter watched, speechless and reeling from Edmund's confused tirade. "I didn't think anything bad would happen Peter." Edmund said in a small voice. He was watching Lucy and dance with Mr Tumnus and he felt his throat tighten. What could have happened to her because of him?! "I didn't know what she would do. I really didn't! If I had, I'd never have done it Pete. You have to believe me! Please!" He gazed imploringly at his older brother, his eyes wild and red from crying. Peter nodded, of course he believed him! Edmund's lips parted into the tiniest of smiles but his face dropped and he looked at his feet. When he spoke again, it was in such a small voice, that Peter could barely hear it. "I'm so so sorry Peter. I know you must hate me..." Peter was startled by this sudden statement, confused and unfounded as it was. "...but, I really, really am so sorry." He raised his head once more and stared into Peter's eyes, blue meeting brown. Tears ran down his cheeks, in truth, he looked all of about five years old. "I'm sorry Peter." His voice broke on the last word as he was swept roughly into his brother's arms.

Peter closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around his brother tightly, kissing his head and willing the mental anguish his brother was suffering to be over. Edmund clung to him as he had done in their tent the week before, his entire body racked with sobs. Tears soaked Peter's clothes and though he did not notice, Edmund's hair was also wet with tears. Peter kept his head bowed and whispered reassurances to his little brother, making sure that they were out of sight of the hall. When Edmund's crying had decreased to the occasional sob, Peter pushed him away from him and held him at arms length.

"Edmund look at me." He commanded tearfully. Edmund reluctantly complied, his eyes widening at Peter's tears. Peter moved his hands from Edmund's shoulders up to his face and pushed Edmund's fringe out of his face. Holding his brother's face in his hands, he knelt down until he was virtually at eye-level with his brother. He swallowed deeply and said the three words that Edmund had so badly needed to hear from him. He had heard it from both his sisters but Edmund needed to hear this from him, Peter realised. At Peter's words, Edmund once again broke into sobs, deep relieved sobs which shook his body but freed his soul. The words echoing around in his mind, over and over again. He hardly dared to believe them.

Peter held him and let him cry and finally, watching the stars appearing over the eastern sea. Repeating the words that had released Edmund from himself.

"I forgive you."


End file.
